2 Brits, 2 Yanks and 2 dogs

Massage a little too touchy feely?

2011-09-24T17:59:00.000-07:00

Us Brits are not touchy, feely types of people, we are far too stoic to have people hug us or touch us. When I first came to the USA I was shocked by all the people that I hardly know wanting to give me a hug. As they leaned in towards me my brain was thinking "aaaaghhhhhhh they are touching me and what if I have BO" or even worse "they have BO".

I had my first massage when I was 35. The thought of having someone put their hands on me when I had no control made me feel way too uncomfortable. But being pregnant and having awful sciatica, I decided to give it a go and anyway some very good friends bought me a pre-natal massage. I remember feeling really nervous about it, I walked into the most gorgeous little tucked away Day Spa and filled out my forms. They directed me to the lounge for my cucumber water or tea and "Jamie" came to greet me. She took me to this dark little room which smelt like lavender and had calming music playing into the room.

After discussing what was going on with my back Jamie told me I could get undressed and get onto the bed and under the blanket. She disappeared out of the room to give me some privacy. That was when I started to have that age old debate with the other woman inside my head. "Am I supposed to be completely naked"? The sane part of me said "yes" and the insane part of me said "no I can just take my bra off and leave my pants on", (not trousers for you Americans). This debate with myself went on for far too long and all of a sudden I could hear Jaime coming back. I jumped under those covers as fast as a 6 month pregnant woman could and pretended I had been lying there for ever - with my underwear on. Seriously what was I thinking? I have to say that first massage was just OK partly because it took me at least half an hour to relax and anytime her hands got near my sciatic nerve I was pretty much jumping off the table.

Fast forward almost 7 years. These days I would do anything to get a massage. I whip my underwear off and jump under that blanket so quickly that my brain doesn't have a moment to debate. That's what happens when you have 2 kids, a lot of your prudishness goes out the window and the thought of doing something for me that is actually relaxing is just the icing on the cake. Yesterday I went for my first massage over the last 2 years. What is it about massage, when you have those knots that need to be worked out and it kinda hurts as they knead them but its also kind of good? I still see Jaime, she's got to hear what has happened over the last 7 years, I know about her dog, her other job and she has had to listen to my stories of births and life as a mother. For me now, if I could I would have a massage every day. If I ever become rich and famous I would forgo the huge house and thousands of money spent on clothes if I could get a massage every day. My new point of view is "Sod the Brit thing and bring on the touchy feely therapists!"

Its been a while

2011-09-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

Almost a year has gone by since I last posted. To much to tell I've had some ups and downs as we all have. I am still driving 50 miles to the school but have found a part time job which allows me to do kindergarten hours (my son has just started).

I was hoping that my first post back after my hiatus would be a funny one as I have a few funny things that have happened. But unfortunately I heard today that Anna a long time blogger friend lost her son in the recent floods in Virginia and I feel for her so strongly. Any loss is tragic but as a parent, for those of us who are, we cannot fathom losing a child before we go ourselves. So Anna I am thinking about you as so many of us are and I am sending everything I have across these airwaves to help give you any tiny bit of strength I can. I am so sorry.

I have to drive 100 miles a day to take my daughter to school

2010-10-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

I lost my job yesterday and yes of course I am sad, its been a job I have really enjoyed for the last 18 months. I am grateful for the experience I have had over the last 18 months but working for a start up has complications - like MONEY! I took a huge pay cut to work for them and the reason I lost my job is the company is running out of money not because I did a poopy job!

How does this affect my life.

I now have to drive 100 miles to take my daughter to school. I had managed to get her an inter-district transfer to a school around the corner from my job, which is 25 miles away from my home. I don't want to transfer her back to my district as on a scale of 1-100 my local school ranks 19/100 and the school my daughter is in ranks 87/100 in the State of California. So the outcome is I now have to do 2 round trips of 50 miles to take and pick up my daughter from school.
My son who has been going to Pre-K has to be withdrawn. I am going to try to keep him in 3 half days a week for at least 2 months BUT that means I have to find $400 per month to pay for it. If I don't find anything soon I will have to withdraw him completely which will be so frustrating as he LOVES Pre-K plus the last 2 months he has learnt so much. It has given him the structure he needs.
Of course for me - I have 2 feelings about the loss of my job. I do get to spend more time with my kids BUT I really liked the job and the responsibilities and adult time that went with that.
The upgrade of our house is off and therefore the move is off!
I also feel sad for the other colleagues that have lost their job.

You always think you have control of your life but unfortunately other people have some of the biggest affects on us.

Seriously you couldn't choose another name

2010-08-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

Last night I was laying in bed playing a word game online on my phone (I know sad right)! It's like the game boggle and you can play with other online users. Someone came online yesterday and her name was "camel tow"! Seriously why would you have that as your screen name, I understand you change "toe" to "tow" but really?

Body Fat

2010-07-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

Why is it little ones with no body fat can stay in the ocean in just their swimsuits for hours, while I with plenty of body fat need a wetsuit?

10 things I learnt about New York City

2010-06-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

I know I have been absent for the last 2 months. Life has had some challenges recently and one of which is getting enough time to get to my computer. I was invited to go to NYC for work this week to meet a load of journalists to show them the new product line. Having only been to JFK before I was excited to get some time in New York and these are the to 10 Things I learnt about New York!

Apparently all NYC taxi drivers are from another country but they know NYC like the back of their hands.
NYC taxi drivers go from 0-60 in-between traffic lights.
Women of NYC seem to be all wearing a minimum of 5 inch heels.
I have never seen so many police in such concentration standing around talking to each other all day every day.
The World Trade Center memorial is just as overwhelming today as it was the week of 9/11.
All the New Yorkers were really friendly.
Black sedans charge double the price of yellow cabs.
I was weirdly waiting for a plane to land on the Hudson.
Orson from Desperate Housewives and Dave Chappell were hanging out at the Standard Hotel.
Oh and for the future for me do not go and visit a fashion journalist with your sunglasses caught in your hair looking a little like Ugly Betty!

Save Flipper!

2010-04-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if any of you saw Oprah last week on Earth day but I felt physically sick at what was going on in Japan with the slaughter of all those dolphins. The Japanese allow 19,000 dolphins to be slaughtered every year something which came to the attention of Ric O'Barry, the man behind the Oscar winning film "the Cove" and the trainer of Flipper from the television series. On Oprah he stated training Flipper was the worst thing he ever did because it brought to the World this friendly, cuddly dolphin. Before Flipper there were only 3 oceanariums around the World that had dolphins now most of them have dolphins. Everyone wants to swim, kiss, touch dolphins. "The cove" exposes the brutality of what is going on in Taiji in Japan and even the clip that was shown on Oprah made my stomach churn. I was lucky enough to be swimming in Hawaii with wild dolphins two years ago and that magical moment will stay with me forever, yet it has somewhat been tarnished by what is going on with dolphins around the world.

I wouldn't say I am an animal activist but I do believe in animal rights. I am as a person a protector, I need to protect. I am not strong, but I am with a 100 voices around me. I remember back in college doing my best to save the Lynx from extinction because so many were being killed for their fur. I loved that marketing project it gave me some sanity and it felt good to be part of that orgainzation. I have a strong desire to protect pit bulls, a breed that is over bred and is often found in the hands of abusive owners. But dolphins please, tell me one person that doesn't want to protect a dolphin (oh besides the Japanese). To top it off these dolphins aren't the only ones that are dying. The smallest know porpoise in the World the Vaquita is on the verge of extinction because of being caught in fishing nets. I was told this last week by a man holding a wooden version of the Vaquita at a bicycle race of all places, he is desperately trying to find anyone who can help this animal. One of the main things you can do he told me was, when buying shrimp ask where its come from. Places like Whole Foods know exactly where their meat and fish comes from or buy from a fishmonger (I know there aren't to many left these days, another dying breed).

What can you do? You can be one of the 100 voices that stand beside me, go to these links below and write a letter to stop them from hunting these beautiful creatures. It will take you 5 minutes and feel great about helping even if it is in a very small way. In fact instead of commenting use that time to start your letter.

http://www.takepart.com/thecove
http://savejapandolphins.org/
http://www.vaquita.org/index.html

Its ok if she dies God will just bring her back to life

2010-04-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

This week my kids have been learning about how Jesus was 'brought back to life' by God in their preschool and how the Easter Bunny is God's helper. Confused? So are they!

Yesterday I frantically took Macy to the vet after an hour of her shaking and wondering if she had eaten something that she wasn't supposed to. Having just dealt with Hurricane's death the kids are a little obsessive over death. But because of Easter, my kids now think it is OK if you die because God will just bring you back to life. I had to spend half an hour explaining to my kids that's not what happens.

Nic is traveling and this is the 3rd Easter in a row I have spent on my own. I quickly ran outside and threw (yes threw) plastic chocolate filled eggs all over the lawn. I got to see their faces as they ran around excited and I got to explain the life and death lesson. I hate the fact that Nic's job takes him away at times like this. Last year he missed every holiday up until Labor day. This year I have been lucky enough to have him not travel until now, and I miss him not being here I miss the fact that when the kids get a little crazy he can help calm the situation. I know there are going to be many more times like this that he's going to miss out on and it makes me sad for him and the kids.

Back from New Zealand

2010-03-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic time in New Zealand and yes I did do the Canyon Swing - Here is proof! Yes that is me, after a lot of coaxing that I really could throw myself off a cliff! The actual step off was scary but once you were swinging around the canyon it was fine.

New Zealand has so much to offer and is so incredibly diverse. The scenery can and did take your breath away. From the moment we left our house to the moment we got to my brother-in-laws house was 23 hours and the kids did surprisingly great. Although can I just say it is a little disturbing when the airline staff bring you the child life vests and say "just in case we go down in the water". Not a great thought as you are about to take off on the runway.

There is so much to do and see in NZ, we cruised through fjords, climbed glaciers, strolled through rainforest, played in oceans, jet boated through river canyons, luged down mountains amongst many other things. The country is vast and uncrowded, amazingly uncrowded and a big proportion of their income is from tourists.

For me personally it was like going back to the UK 30 years ago. (Apart from the amazing scenery), there was so many things there that was British, old British cars, even the playgrounds had equipment that I remember playing with and on when I was young. So on that note I am leaving you with my favorite memory of NZ.

beef and death, boys and girls

2010-02-16T09:39:00.001-08:00

My daughter randomly said to me yesterday at 7.35am "I am thinking of beef". I couldn't help but laugh at her, we were driving to school, we haven't had beef for about 3 months and the previous conversation had been about a birthday party.

Since the death of Hurricane, my kids have wanted to talk about dying ALL THE TIME! I got this today "mummy when I am 11 are you going to be dead". (I really hope not)! I am trying to talk about it with them but it is not easy to be casual about death. Especially when it gets to the subject of my own parents death. The difference between girls and boys is this, Molly-Mae "my teacher said that Hurricane has turned into an angel and now he is in heaven", Charlie "no he is not an angel, he is a dog and he is DEAD".

I can't keep up with my blog, I am way too tired. I don't get anytime to myself these days and when I do, I sleep.

I am off to New Zealand for 2 weeks to see my brother and sister-in-law and I get to see my nephew and my new niece. This is the first real holiday that we have had in years, usually I tag on to one of my husbands work trips. But this one will be different, this one neither of us will have to work. We have a layover in Sydney for 1 night - I plan on doing as much in 22 hours in Sydney as I can. My brother in law has signed me up for this http://www.canyonswing.co.nz/
but I am really not so sure, its not my thing and I am really scared that I will have a little accident or 2 if you know what I mean. Check out the underpants they sell.

So to all my bloggy friends "Bon Voyage" for now and I am sorry that I am not keeping up my posts or commenting this has not been the best start to the year form and I am dealing with it by sleeping!

Is it all in the details

2010-01-25T21:03:00.001-08:00

Details every one wants details, some people are detail orientated but not me! I am definitely not detail orientated, I want things done and as fast as possible.

This morning as I was sitting in the dentists chair having a filling replaced, I watched the instruments going in and out of my mouth, the heads on the drill getting smaller and smaller as my dentist was contouring my new filling enough for me to get floss through my teeth. I decided then, there was no way I would ever have made a good dentist or a surgeon for that matter. Those delicate movements, those little details that mean so much, I am more your bull in the china shop type girl. Which contradicts my other "talent" in that I can be as patient as anything. So why if I am so patient can I not be bothered with the details of small things. For my job, I've made way to many mistakes with incorrect spelling - you know the final detail of spell check before you hand out your work. That's because I am so excited about finishing that I am printing that sucker and placing it on my bosses desk like a happy school girl. Only to have it placed back on mine with red ink on it. My colleague on the other hand is the complete opposite, everything is about details and we have to go over and over the same project changing words out that really most people couldn't care about. I write our company blog as I am talking to my audience over a cup of coffee. My colleague writes with the facts, in her words "I am a chatty writer". I would like to think most people would prefer my "chat" than the barebones.

Growing up I wanted to be a police woman, but being pretty poor sighted in one eye took that career off the table. My husband thinks I would have been an awful police woman anyway because we will be somewhere and he will notice details about people that I never see and its not the eye sight. I look at faces, he looks at stuff. He will say to me "did you see the size of that rock on that womans hand in the elevator" or a shoe comment or even bags and I truly never notice. The details just don't interest me.

So to those who I see and read this "I don't care that you are not wearing your make up" because I don't notice. I am sorry if you get an email with names that start with a lower case, its a detail I don't care about. I don't need to know the details of every recipe you cook, only the ones I ask for, most of all I just want to know if it tastes good. I love to scrapbook but I am not so good with all the little details that many of my friends need for their books. If you see me dress, most of my clothes are without details!

So there you have it details - not for me!

Oh and one last thing - thank you for all the comments about Hurricane, I will spare you the details of how he died. One detail that I can't bring myself to do is take him off my stick drawing or change my name to 2 Brits, 2 Yanks and 1 dog. Thank you everyone who commented, it really meant a lot to me during those first few days.

Grief Stricken

2010-01-14T13:10:00.000-08:00

There are times when grief leaves you with nothing to say, "Goodbye my friend"

"Hurricane" - rescued from "death row" 11.24.2001 - died 01.10.10

I really look that bad?

2009-12-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

I have blue/grey eyes, so imagine my surprise when my daughter said to me the other day "mummy why are your eyes green" while waiting for me to finish in the bathroom. I turned to look in the mirror and she was right, the bags under my eyes were green. They looked bruised, you know how bruises go green and were really puffy. How did they get like that? How did I wake up and look like the grinch and more importantly how do you get rid of the bags without sticking cold spoons on your eyes.

I have never really been into make up, a bit of mascara and some lip gloss and that is about it. So now I have reached 40 I am going to have to start wearing make up so that I don't constantly look like I have been up all night.

So my new years resolution - try to get more sleep.

Happy new year everyone.

Note to self

2009-12-09T02:38:00.000-08:00

Do not watch "My Sisters Keeper" on an airplane full of people without a tissue anywhere and when you are feeling a little emotional. Especially do not let your children see you crying, as they might just shout out really, really loudly "mummy why are you crying" and then when you are so emotional and can't answer them, they shout even louder "why are you crying" and continue this rant until you can get some sort of words out to answer them.

3 Already! A little man's story!

2009-11-25T17:21:00.000-08:00

Where has the last 3 years gone. My baby is 3 today! This little fireball has always been busy! I remember thinking when I was carrying my daughter that she was a kicker and I nicknamed her fidget. However, it was nothing compared to being pregnant with Charlie, he kicked so much he would wake me up in the middle of the night. I couldn't rest anything on my stomach with out it falling off from his soccer kicks.

He started causing me trouble earlier than that. I had an extended 34 day period the month before I found out I was pregnant. The next month didn't seem to be any different at 35 days I took a pregnancy test and it showed no lines. At 42 days I began to get a little worried and was about to call the OB's office. The thought of having a really long time between periods when you are trying to get pregnant is not the most appealing, now of course I would love 4o days between that time of the month! The morning of day 42 I thought well just before I call her I will do another pregnancy test (good job I bought the double pack)! There it was the extra line. I did wonder if it could be true having had the negative one only a few days earlier. I remember walking into Molly-Mae's bedroom and watching Nic change her diaper - "ummm, guess what" I said! He didn't look up as he spread "butt cream" over Molly-Mae's bottom. "Well, we are having another baby", "really"? At this point he looked up and I showed him the little white stick. "I guess I'll be calling my OB anyway".

The pregnancy was much easier than Molly-Mae's although there were a few things that got me worried. In the first 16 weeks I only gained 1lb and could still wear my normal trousers, I was worried that the baby wasn't getting enough nutrition, unlike Molly-Mae, with which I couldn't wear my normal trousers at 7 weeks (not kidding) and gained 50lb during the pregnancy. With the 2nd pregnancy I had terrible constipation and when I mean terrible, I am talking an hour in the bathroom, with a numb bum almost every day. It got to the point where I didn't want to go to the bathroom at work because my co-workers thought that something wierd was going on because I would be gone for such a long time. One day I was late for picking up Molly-Mae from daycare because I was literally stuck! I have to say I hated being pregnant, the non-sleeping, the constipation, the inability to eat anything without getting acid reflux along with all the other "side effects", I just kept saying to myself "keep your eye on the prize".

On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I had my last appointment with my Dr and she told me I was in early labor. In fact her exact words were "there is absolutely no way you are going to make Thanksgiving". Famous last words! Thanksgiving came and went, the Friday after Thanksgiving came and went and Saturday I checked myself into the hospital bright and breezy at 7am. I had no idea whether it was a boy or a girl. I labored all day, with the nurses telling me the second is always easier. How wrong were they? This little guy wasn't coming out for love nor money and then at 8.28pm in the evening, the exact same time as his sister he decided that the World outside my stomach was his. The birth was excrutiating, he decided that he wanted to come out hand first and so I had to deal with the head and the shoulder. Lets just say the less I talk about the better and I don't recommend that type of birth. I was so excited to have a boy and he was such a "Charlie" we knew it when we looked at him. He was worth the room looking like a massacre had happened, he was worth me throwing up 10 minutes after his birth and he was worth the 9 months and 35lb of weight gain. He was worth the loss of blood and D and C 2 weeks later, he was worth the crazy night schedule he kept, of being "upside down" and being awake most of the night, but most of all, he was my little boy, the boy that I had dreamed of to complete our family.

My cheeky Charlie turns 3 today. He is a busy boy, crazy busy boy. He is wide awake from the moment his eyes flick open, just like his father. He is smart, I thought his sister was smart but he amazes me, he could count to 10 at 20 months. He loves bellies and is always playing with his belly or my belly or his dad's belly, its like his comfort toy (which at times can be a little embarrassing). He hates to be alone and can not play alone, he craves people, he needs people to be with him. He worries about his sister, in fact they both worry about each other, I couldn't have asked for them to be closer to each other.

Yes my little man is 3 today, this was him in early October competing in a kids triathlon, he came 2nd in the 3 and under age group. He loves his bike and really needs a bigger one.

Happy birthday my little man! Thanksgiving will always mean me being thankful for you coming into my life.

Some people are just plain rude!

2009-11-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

I find it hard to deal with rude people. I often get annoyed with myself for not sticking up for the underdog when they are being bullied by rude people. It's the Brit in me - don't get involved, don't hurt people's feelings, mind your manners etc. Then I just get mad at myself and fester in the "what I should have said" scenarios.

Yesterday was no exception. I walked into the swimming pool changing room to find 2 women staring at a little boy. One lady (probably in her late 60's) went marching over to the boy and said "where's your mother little boy?" The boy said "its my grandmother and she is using the toilet". The older lady grabbed the boy by the shoulder and marched him to the sinks and told him to "stand there, this is a ladies changing room and you are too old to be in here". The boys grandmother came out of the toilet and was looking for the boy. The other lady pounced on her "is this your grandson, he is far too old to be in here. There are women changing!" The other woman was completely surprised and said "he is 5". "That is way to old to be in the womens changing room, he needs to be out of here look at that sign it says "boys 4 and older need to use the male changing rooms or use the family changing room". The poor other woman grabbed her belongings and the boy's hand and left.

I was flabbergasted! First of all at the intensity of the verbal attack on this poor lady but by the fact that I had never seen the sign before. The woman stormed back to the corner where I was changing and said to her friend "stupid English cow that type of thing makes me so pissed". She saw me glare at her. "I am allowed to say that because my husband's English" she proclaimed. At which point I said "Actually I am English, in fact we are all English" pointing to my kids and my mother in Law who was busily helping my kids get changed. Then she proceeded to ask me questions like how long I have been here etc. and I did NOT want to talk to her. BUT being the Brit I am, I of course answered politely. What I wanted to say was "you are such a rude person, who gives you the right to call someone an "English cow" certainly not because your husbands British and stop swearing in front of my kids" BUT I DIDN'T! I am so annoyed with myself for not saying what I really wanted to say and not sticking up for the other "grandma".

I discussed it with my mother in law afterwards. My daughter is 4 now and if it was the other way around and my husband had her in the mens changing rooms, I would not want her to be in the womens on her own. Yes, there is one family changing room I discovered last night but when you have 40 kids coming out of swimming lessons at the same time, how quickly does that get filled up. Do you agree is 4 years old too young?

He is such a Kid!

2009-11-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

My husband turned 40 this week! Lets just say there is no way he looks 40 and certainly doesn't act like he is 40.

A few years ago someone came to our front door to try to sell newspapers and they actually asked him if his parents are home.
I still laugh out loud about that.

Here are some reasons why I don't think my husband acts like a 40 year old.

He has Heelies (you know the shoes that have little wheels in the heels).
He has 2 pocket bikes.
He has more fun with the kids toys than they do.
He keeps trying to make my kids do stunts.
He has to be told not to pull on threads because the button will fall off.
He would rather spend money on "toys" than clothes (for him)
He can spend hours in Toys-R-Us "looking" for toys for the kids.

And all that results in the reason why I love him

Photography is my passion (most of the time)

2009-11-04T20:21:00.000-08:00

I love to take photographs and always have done. For a few years it was my job, for 2 years I owned my own photography business. I very rarely put any of my own photos on the blog unless they are snapshots. My favorite things to photograph are dogs, kids and wildlife. Now the issue with dogs is that you can follow them around all day waiting for that perfect shot and most of the time you can get it. With kids its a different story, one kid is fun, two kids a little less fun anything more than that and you have trouble. Over the weekend a friend of mine asked me to photograph her family and her brother's family, the result 5 kids and 5 adults all looking in completely different directions. So out of about 200 photos taken, only a handful had everybody looking at me. That is the one reason I don't do portraits very often and definitely do not do weddings. I like pressure free photography, enjoying the moment, trying to capture that one fleeting photo that makes it all worth while. Lately I have been taking product shots, no pressure, just trying to make the item look good. So I am putting on the web my all time favorite shot this year of my son Charlie. 1 kid + 1 great smile with a touch of water.

New shoes, LizzieB and British mummy bloggers

2009-10-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

I have been absent I know - the Summer has been busy and being back at work has taken much of my time.

Recently I have been getting inspiration from some other moms one of which is http://lizziebtv.com/ Lizzie used to be a freelance news anchor until motherhood.... anyway check out her website you won't be disappointed.

Next on the list is the British Mummy Bloggers group - I recently joined the Brit mums abroad group and have met some new bloggy friends.

Finally there is a new shoe company that has hit the streets. When you feel like some new running shoes you should check them out here. There whole deal is to customize shoes to your running style and feet, plus you can customize each foot individually. Why am I not telling you who they are - well I know for a fact they have a google alert and I don't want certain people there to know about my blog if you know what I mean.

11 Years ago today we were wearing these!

2009-10-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

Mummy - how did I get out of your tummy?

2009-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

My daughter asked me the dreaded question today. The "mummy, how did I get out of your tummy" question. You know the question you never want to be asked by a 4 year old and like the good honest mum I said "the Doctor got you out". Then came "how did the Dr get me out" and what did I tell her "do you want a cookie?"

Lets just say I've diverted for now, I don't want to lie but I don't want to give her all the gory details either so if anyone has any ideas let me know.

79 pairs of socks - I think I've married my father

2009-10-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today I could not get any more socks/underwear in my husband's drawer. His socks took up most of the drawer so I called him in and told him he had to get rid of some. I literally was wrestling them out of his hand. 79 pairs of freaking socks. How many went back in the drawer 63 (I am not kidding), we argued about it, can you believe it he has to wear 9 pairs of socks a day to use them all. His case was, he has mountain biking socks, road biking socks, compression socks for flying, normal socks, snowboarding socks and the list goes on.

He has 4 motorcycle helmets and 1 head. I can't even tell you how many pairs of cycling shoes he has but lets just say it is way into double figures. When we left England he had over 100 T-shirts. Other categories include 14 watches (YES 14), at least 20 pairs of sunglasses and probably over 20 cycling kits (uniforms). There are other things that he has plenty of like, hats, jackets, shoes and so on.

So when I say I think I married my father, Nic is very much like my dad apart from 2 things my dad was way more romantic than my husband (of course not to me to my stepmother) and I didn't have any idea about my husband's hoarding. My dad hoarded garage stuff, nails, wood, screws anything that he thought may be useful. He was a bit of an inventor so anything he found that he could use in a future invention he would keep, needless to say the garage was chock full of gadgets, pieces of wood and other 'crap' so much so you couldn't even get your car in. Recently when we had our bathroom remodeled I freaked out about the 2 bags of toiletries that I had in the cupboard under the sink, for some reason they had been there for years. I was starting to wonder was I hoarding but now I realize it isn't me its my husband!

Bumpers Awareness Month

2009-10-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

I am reposting a post from last October in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

As someone that has been affected by the disease, my mum had breast cancer and passed away nearly
20 years ago, I urge all women to check their own breasts and if your a man check
your woman's breasts.

Anyway on a lighter note it did get me thinking about all the names people call
their breasts and then I did a search and look what I found.


Angel Cakes        Double-Whammies      Loaves              PT Boats
Apples                  Dueling Banjos             Loblollies          Pumpkins
Balboas                Dugs                              Love Melons     Rangoons
Balloons               Dumplings                    Love Muffins      Rib Balloons
Bangers                Dunes                           Lulus                  Rib Cushions
Bangles                Ear Muffs                     Macaroons         Rivets
Bassoons             Eclairs                      Mambos              Roundies
Baubles                Eggplants                     Mammaries         Sandbags
Bazongas            Enchiladas                     Mammies            Satellites
Bazookas            Flapjacks                         Mams                 Scones
Bazooms              Flappers                        Mangos               Scoops
Beacons               Flesh Bulbs                  Marangos            Set
Beanbags            Flesh Melons                Maraschinos        Shakers
Bebops                Floaters                         Marimbas             Shebas
Betty Boops        Floats                             Mau Maus            Shimmies
Big Boppers        Fog Lights                      Mausers             Silos
Bikini Stuffers      Fried Eggs                     Meatballs           Skin Sacks
Billibongs              Fun Bags                      Meat Loaves       Skooners
Blinkers                 Gagas                            Melons               Smoothies
Bombers                Garbos                          Milk Cans           Snuggle Pups
Bombshells            Gazingas                    Milk Fountains    Spark Plugs
Bonbons                 Gazongas                   Milk Shakes         Specials
Bongos                   Glands                         Molehills               Spheres
Bonkers                 Globelets                      Mommas              Spongecakes
Boobers                  Globes                         Mondos                Spuds
Boobies                   Gob Stoppers            Montezumas        Stacks
Boobs                      Gongas                       Moo Moos            Stuffing
Boops                       Goombas                   Mother Lodes      Sugarplums
Bops                         Grapefruits                  Mounds              Sweater Meat
Bosom                     Grillwork                     Mountain Peaks  Sweater Puffs
Boulders                Guavas                  Muchachas         Sweet Rolls
Bouncers             Gum Drops                  Muffins                Tahitis
Bra Buddies            Handsets               Mulligans              Tamales
Bra Stuffers       Hand Warmers          Mushmelons         Tartugas
Bronskis                Headers                     Nancies                 Tatas
Bubbas                     Headlamps               Nectarines             Tattlers
Bubbies                    Headlights                 Niblets                   Teats
Buds                      Headphones            Nibs                 Tetons
Bulbs                     Headsets                  Nippeloons           Thangs
Bulges                 Hefties                       Nippelos                Thingamajigs
Bullets                Heifers                   Nippers                Tidbits
Bumpers             Hemispheres            Nippies                   Titbits
Bumps                 Hills                        Nips                      Tits
Bust                     Hindenburgs            Nodes                      Titskis
Busters                 Honeydews             Nodules                 Titters
Busties                  Honkers                  Noogies                    Titties
Butterballs           Hood Ornaments    Nose Cones            Tomatoes
Buttons                  Hoohas                   Oompas                  Tooters
Caboodles                 Hooters                   Orbs                    Torpedoes
Cannon Balls            Hot Cakes              Ottomans             Tortillas
Cantaloups               Hottentots            Padding              Totos
Carumbas             Howitzers               Pagodas              Twangers
Casabas                Hubcaps               Pair                  Tweakers
Cha-Chas            Huffies               Palookas                Tweeters
Charlies               Humdingers           Papayas              Twin Peaks
Chihuahuas         Hush Puppies       Parabolas              Twofers
Chimichongas      ICBM's                Pastries            Tympanies
Chiquitas            Jawbreakers       Paw Patties           U-Boats
Coconuts            Jemimas                  Peaches                 Umlauts
Congas              Jibs                      Peakers                 Wahwahs
Corkers               Jobbers                  Peaks                  Waldos
Creamers            Jugs                        Pears                    Warheads
Cream Pies         Jukes                    Pects                        Water-Melons
Cuhuangas         Jumbos                 Peepers              Whoppers
Cupcakes            Kabukis                 Pillows               Wind-Jammers
Curves                 Kalamazoos           Pips                   Wobblers
Dingers                Kazongas              Plums                Wongas
Dinghies            Kazoos                   Pointer-Sisters       Woofers
Dingos                  Knobbers        Points                Yabbos
Dirigibles           Knockers                 Pokers                    Yams
Domes                  Kongas                   Polygons                 Yayas
Doodads             Kumquats                Pompons                Zeppelins
Doozers             Lactoids                   Pontoons                Zingers
Doozies               Lip Fodder              Potatoes


Ok - so lets be real. Who on earth calls them Lactoids. "Hey look at my lactoids
in this outfit" or "Do you think my U-boats need an uplift". Seriously?

Anyway I thought you might have a light hearted laugh, but please don't forget to
check your "sweater puffs" at least once a month.

How did he do that?

2009-09-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

MM - Daddy did you know God created the World?
Nic - Did he?
MM - Yes aaannnnndddd he did it without any skin!

I have no rhythm

2009-09-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I did a Zumba class - (its sort of an aerobic/dance class to latin music)! Lets just say I thought that I had a lot more rhythm than I do. When you are staring at yourself in a full length mirror with your hand and feet flailing it is really not a pretty site.

You know that answering machine syndrome, when you first hear yourself on the answer machine and you think that doesn't sound like me, that's what it felt like. I thought I would be able to salsa and cha cha like any hot little latin dancer, well... lets just say I was a tepid, almost cool in a sort of an embarrassingly funny way. Still, at least I got a workout and I did enjoy it, even though I was pretty sad to watch. I could just imagine myself on YouTube as one of those really sad dancers whose timing is way off, that you watch and cringe at.

Lets hope I get better with practice.

Mend it - clean it

2009-09-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Is it wierd or is it me why are the Billy May ads on TV still? It kind of freaks me out.

Contractors need to have a female touch

2009-09-09T16:59:00.000-07:00

I seriously think every contractor needs to have a woman on their team. Having just had our bathroom remodeled they did a great job apart from the final touches which only a woman would do right. You know those curtain rods that bend outwards to give you more room in the shower, well they put it in way to far so that if we ever put in a straight rod you would have to bring your arms in tight against your side so that you don't touch your side. Seriously did they not realize the whole reason we got the shower rod was to give us more room. Then they put the ceiling light in the wrong way round so there is a gap that you can see when you walk into the bathroom BUT if they had put it in horizontally instead of vertically - NO GAP! Again probably only a woman would notice that. Its not that big of a deal but its just a little annoying, although I have to say I think I scowl every time I look at the shower curtain rod. I wish I had a before photo but I had 70's ugly canary yellow tile, rust in the bath and nasty brass faucets with a white linoleum floor. Who puts white floors in a bathroom? The worst design ever besides the white linoleum we had in the kitchen. Anyway after 8 years in the house we have finally got a new bathroom and here it is. (see how far that curtain rod is in from the edge of the tile)

And God Created Adam and .....

2009-09-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

MM - Mummy did you know God made boys and girls?
ME - Did he?
MM - Yes and guess what their names were?
ME - What were their names?
MM - Adam and Steve!

Watch out for jumping poop

2009-08-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

Now that Charlie is potty trained, I thought I would be over the poop stories! Apparently not!

Sometimes he has issues with wiping his cute little butt. The other day he shouted "mummy, can you wipe my bottom'. Off I trot into the bathroom, he bent over and I noticed there was a brown substance on the top of his foot. "Charlie, is that poop on your foot?" "Huh" he said. I repeated myself, "Charlie is that poop" pointing to his foot. He opened his hand and I could see poop on his hand and he said matter of factly "Yeah".
"How did you get poop on your foot?"
"It jumped out of the toilet at me".

I know what you are thinking, how the heck did poop jump out of the toilet, well that is the mystery. How did it get back in the toilet, I am assuming by the poop on his hand he picked it up and put it back in. LOVELY! Future wives of Charlie this is a great story I will be giving his best man, Charlie and the jumping poop, it brings a whole new meaning to Charlie and the Chocolate factory!

Doh! Literally!

2009-08-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

You know you are going to have a bad day tomorrow when you have to explain why there is Play Doh stuck in the keyboard of your work laptop and certain keys will not work anymore!

DOH!

That will teach me for trying to fix Charlie's toy with my laptop on my lap!

Oh and the Play Doh is bright blue so its not that I can hide it.

If only it was this easy to get money

2009-08-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

MM- "Mummy can we buy that"
ME - "No Molly-Mae we are saving our money for our trip to New Zealand to see Uncle Juffy"
MM - "We can still buy it because we can just ask God for the money, you do this. Dear God, please can we have money for New Zealand, Amen"
ME - "If only it was that easy"

I paid for sole use of that toilet for 48 hours

2009-08-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

Last week I was back in Colorado for work, staying in a fairly posh hotel, well for me anyway. As part of my role I had to deliver some of our gift bags to our clients. Just as I was leaving my room the maid came in for turn down service. I picked up the bags and said to her "I'll be back in a minute". I was meeting the client by the elevator and I literally was just a minute. I walked in through the door of my room, to find my maid taking a poop on my toilet with the door OPEN!

I was a little embarrassed and started to rummage around in my stuff trying to make out I was doing something. A few minutes later she flushed the toilet, washed her hands and off she went. I wanted to shout after her "I paid for sole use of that toilet for 48 hours, I should be the only one crapping in it". I am not sure who was more embarrassed me or her! Did she really not believe me when I said I would be back in a minute or was the accent to blame once again?

Cheese us

2009-07-28T05:01:00.000-07:00

My children's little preschool is a religious one and the reason they go there is; because it is close to where I work and the price was right. I hadn't really discussed religion with them previously. Recently my daughter has stumped me with the following.

MM - Do you know God?
ME - Not personally, I've never met him?
MM - Do you know where he lives?
ME - No, where does he live?
MM - Up there on that cloud!
ME - What that cloud?
MM- Yep, that cloud right there!

MM - "Cheese-us" (Jesus) loves all the little children. "cheese-us" loves them all the time - said in a sing song voice! (I wish I had an audio clip).

Beach Lesson 1

2009-07-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

Beach Lesson 1 - always watch the waves when paddling, they may knock you over subjecting the human child to a full body wash!

Scatty me

2009-07-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

You know how at that time of the month ladies, you become a little scatterbrained (or is it just me)? Well today I

Got out a dining plate and poured cheerios on it. I didn't even realize until I poured my desired amount of Cheerios.
Then I went to put the Cheerios in the fridge. (Isn't that where they are supposed to be kept)?
I parked at work and dropped my coffee in the car in that great spot where you keep all your small change, your sunglasses, lip salve, your phone, your phone cord - you know all the stuff you don't want to get covered in coffee!

It's not even 8.30am yet and I have the whole day to look forward to - what's next? Is it just me?

An Eye for an Eye

2009-07-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

If you are like any of my friends with kids under the age of 5, probably only 1 out of 10 of you have taken your child to see an optometrist. With our family it is a given that I would take my kids to see the optometrist, both my father and my father-in-law are optometrists (by coincidence) and my sister followed in the same career, I know how important our 1 set of eyes are. There is a program here in the US that is free for parents with kids under the age of one, called infantsee. Both my children took part in the examination around 9 months and both did pretty well. I found a local Dr through the locater and I really liked her, she told me to bring Molly-Mae back at the age of 4 because it wasn't unusual but she wasn't responding to the light as well as she liked.

In January this year I took MM back to see her. Molly-Mae's vision was amazing she could see really well compared to me (I am blind as a bat), so I was really shocked to find out that she would need glasses because she is long sighted. The Dr told me she needs to wear them for reading, drawing, any close work etc. I was really, really surprised as I thought her eyes were great.

In May she started Pre-K and after about 3 weeks, one day she looked at me and I had to do a double take, her right eye was turning in. I put it down to the fact that she had had a late night the night before, an hour later her eyes were back to normal. But slowly and surely this eye was drifting in more and more, I truly began to think I was paranoid because by the time my husband got home or I could ask someone else's opinion it was back to normal. Eventually I spoke to both my sister and my father-in-law and they persuaded me to take her back to my Dr who referred me to a Paediatric Opthamologist. The outcome - my daughter has strabismus, and will have to wear a patch for 3 months and now has to wear her glasses all the time.

I felt so sad for her, even though her patches are totally girly and have flowers on them, because I myself went through the patches when I was little and I absolutely HATED IT! I hated wearing glasses, (I still do), I hated people making fun of me saying I was a pirate and I hated being stared at. I have tried to not make a big thing of it with her, and told her mummy went through it, and it is to help her see better.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I want you to get your kids eyes tested. My paediatrician does not do a visual test. Lately I have seen 2 kids in my daughters school who have slight turns in their eye, I can see it and I don't know what to say to their parents. Will I be the meddling parent if I say something? I can ask my sister to guest blog if you have any questions but I know we as parents have a limited time before the eye muscles set and you get one chance to try and help your child if they have a problem. If you think that it is too expensive shop around, the place where I bought my daughters glasses from do an eye exam for $59, it could be the best $59 you have ever spent. I went back to my original infantsee Dr for her eye test and it was $120 and then took the prescription to a cheaper large chain to buy the glasses. If you taker your child and nothing is wrong just think of it as a learning experience and it will set a guide for the optometrist for their next appointment, BUT if the optometrist finds something you have everything to gain. I will ask my sister to answer any questions or comments you might have, but please I am imploring you, if you have a child under the age of 5 get their eyes checked out.

The Attention Span of a 4 year old

2009-07-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

This is the exact conversation today driving home. Talk about a short attention span!

MM - Who does Granny live with?
ME - No-one, but she used to live with Grandpoppy!
MM - Grandpoppy was your daddy right?
ME - Yes he was!
MM - I wish I saw him.
ME - Me too!
MM - Oh look there's a llama.
ME - Oh yes.
MM- Did I come out of your tummy.
ME - Yes you did.
MM - Did daddy come out of your tummy.
ME - No he didn't he came out of nana's tummy.
MM - Why?
ME - Because Nana is daddy's mummy.
MM - But she's not dead.
ME - No she is not dead.
MM - Is she as old as you because you are getting old!
ME - No! She is much older than me, thanks!
MM - Why did you say thanks?
ME - Because I was being sarcastic!
MM - Oh look there's a cow!
ME - Is daddy as old as you?
MM - Almost.
MM - You have a daddy right?
ME - I do, it was grandpoppy and he died.
MM- But daddy's a daddy!
ME - Yes but he is your daddy not my daddy.
MM - Oh!
MM - Oh look there's some horses!

Who?

2009-07-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Molly-Mae was super excited this morning as she put her jacket in her cubby in preschool.

MM - Look mummy there's a card in my cubby, who is it from?
ME - I don't know!
MM - Can I open it? (Before I could even answer she was ripping that envelope open like a pro). OOOOHHHH, its Cinderella! Is it an invite mummy? Its Cinderella, is it a birthday card. Read it mummy, read it? (All this time she is jumping up and down with excitement).
ME - Its an invite to a birthday party.
MM - A PARTY - YEAH!
ME - If you give it to me, I can read who its from.
MM - I'm going to a party, I'm going to a party (said in a sing, song voice)
ME - To Molly, Please come to my party, etc. etc. from Lena
MM - Stopped jumping up and down, looked at me as if I was talking crazy and said "Who's Lena"

It was classic.

Apparently British me pronounced it "Len-ah" and she is actually called "Lea-na" not the first time I have done this. I have called someone "Jesus" and not "hay-seus" and "Jaime" instead of "hi-me". Seriously, whats a girl supposed to do, I read the name as it is written. Jesus has always been Jesus in my book!

I just want him home

2009-07-05T21:17:00.001-07:00

My husband has been in Monaco and Marseilles and touring France for work, while I am home feeling more than a little hostile. I don't understand why parenting has to be so hard! Nic has been gone for 10 days, 3 months in total since the beginning of the year. Its been 10 days here, 16 days there. I am trying really hard to be positive and to tell myself think of all those people that don't have a significant other to help them raise their children, but lets just say, "I am over his traveling".

I don't want to be the one that is the meanie mum that won't let them watch tv, I don't want to take out the trash and fill the car with engine oil. Even when he is here I am the one that takes the kids to preschool, gymnastics, swimming, Dr's appointments, birthday parties, blah, blah, blah.

I want him home, I want to go to bed and sleep deeply, I want to have a shower without wondering what trouble Charlie is getting into. I don't want to be the only one having to deal with the nightly "go back to bed routine" which goes on for an hour each night. I want to feel him breathe into my hair at night and the touch of his body and hear his voice in the next room instead of the end of a phone. Plus just as an added bonus I seem to go on self destruct mode when Nic is gone and eat anything and everything, you know the typical comfort food trick.

I know I should be damn grateful he has a job and I am. It is a job he loves, he gets to travel the world in a career that is a hobby as well as a job. Who gets to do that? Not too many people I know. Its just there are times when I feel so exhausted and almost a single parent. At this time of year I drive 100 miles a day, taking the kids to preschool in one direction and to swimming lessons 4 days a week, in the other. I have had to go to bed at 8PM, three nights this week because I am so tired. Charlie wakes up at 5.30am and still will come into our bedroom more than 2 nights a week. When Nic is here he will carry him back to bed, when he is gone I let him get into bed, because I am just too tired to do anything about it and Charlie is a leaner, he has to lean on you and touch you while sleeping next to you.

Everything becomes a chore, getting the kids into the car, grocery shopping, even cleaning teeth seems to be such hard work when Nic is away.

Charlie especially seems to punish me when Nic is gone. He always seems to be extra naughty, or is it me being extra tired, either way we seem to clash much more when daddy is away. When Nic left this time, Charlie cried for half an hour, he was totally devastated, his heart was broken and so was mine.

Wow, this is quite the moan, but for all those parents that have done this on their own even for a few days, I am sure you know what I mean. As for any single parents out there, my heart goes out to you and I salute you.

I should be...

2009-07-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

I should be taking my kids to a 4th July party...
I should be enjoying the Califonian weather...
I should be tidying the house...
I should be making lunch...
I should be spending time with my kids...
I should be walking my dogs...
I should be drinking more water...
I should be taking a shower...
I should be catching up on emails...
I should be doing laundry...

What am I doing on this glorious 4th July?

NOTHING!

Why?

Because I never, ever get to do nothing.

Thankfully he is 2 and not 16!

2009-06-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Molly-Mae: Mummy, Charlie stamped Cinderella on his willy!

Me: Charlie go and wash Cinderella off your willy!

Charlie: Cinderella won't come off my willy!

Me: Go and wash her off your willy!

Charlie: Mummy, I can't get Cinderella off my willy!

Don't you wish you were a fly on the wall and heard that conversation?

Catching Up

2009-06-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

In the last month I have been tagged and given an award and I definitely need to thank STAR and Christy for them.

STAR tagged me with a post of 7 things you don't know about me - I've done a few of these so I am trying to think of something new that I want to share.

I hate guns and I am short sighted but besides that, I am actually a pretty good shot.
My brother once put a blanket over my body and held me down, he was messing about, but since then I have always been a little claustrophobic.
My family used to race light hovercraft and we traveled all over the UK and even went to Germany to race.
When I first came to the USA, I was addicted to Jerry Springer because I had never seen anything like it before in my life. I would even call my husband at work and describe to him what I was watching.
I absolutely hate horror movies and refuse to watch them.
I love Indian food but haven't found a good Indian restaurant where we live yet.
I wish I could be like Dr Doolittle and talk to animals.

So there are my weird and wonderful 7 things you didn't know.

Also I want to thank Christy at A lil Welsh Rarebit for this super cute "your blog is as deer to me as cupcakes" award.

So to pay it forward I am bestowing the tag and the award to anyone who leaves a comment on this post.

Where have I been

2009-06-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

So apparently some of you think I may have dropped off the face of the Earth because I haven't been commenting on your blogs lately. So here are my top ten real excuses!

Since April I have been back at work, so my amount of blog time has severely been cut down.
Swimming lessons are back, Mon-Thurs and it takes me half an hour to get to the pool, an hour at the pool and half an hour home.
By the time I get the kids fed and do the "go back to bed dance every night" I am exhausted.
I have been to Colorado for work twice.
Since April Nic has been gone for 32 days and is about to embark on another 16 days away.
I have been spending more time outdoors.
I have been spending more quality time with the kids.
Sometimes when I have been using the computer all day at work the last thing I want to do in my spare time is turn on my computer.
I was wondering whether I should call it a day with the blog but I love reading all your blogs and sometimes like the recent "swimming lessons for parents" I sometimes feel I need to share my voice. Plus you guys were great counselors for my "Crushed 36 years later" post and you were much cheaper.
Finally and this is the most important I have been reading your blogs on the Itouch but I am really crap at 1 finger typing and I always want to say so much more than I do on the Itouch.

So there you have it. I really have been reading the Itouch in bed, because you know there is no romance in our house with dogs on the bed, kids coming in to the bedroom in the middle of the night, so what else is a girl to do but read blogs.

A swimming lesson for parents

2009-06-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saved a little girl from drowning. It was one of those, in the right place at the right time moments.

My own kids were taking part in swimming lessons and it was one of those chaotic moments when the recreational swim was over and the swimming lessons were starting. Children were getting out of the pool as a whole swarm of children were going in for swimming lessons. Teachers were gathering their kids. Molly-Mae's teacher went to get a step for some of her little ones to stand on. Another teacher and the lifeguard were removing the rope barrier. There were little ones everywhere.

You know as a parent you become hypersensitive to the cries of kids. I heard a shout that definitely did not sound like the squeals of delight that were coming from all around me. I was in the water carrying Charlie to his class and as I span around to work out where the noise was coming from, I could see this little girl completely submerged, arms flailing and she definitely was not playing around. I don't think I've ever moved so fast! I grabbed the girl by the arm and yanked her out of the water into my arms. Holding her and Charlie close to me as she coughed, sputtered and cried. I looked around me, still no adults. Molly-Mae's teacher came back with the step and I asked her if this little girl was one of her students, she was. I handed the frightened little thing over to her teacher, grateful for the happy ending.

She had waded in to get to her regular spot and just went to far. The more she panicked the deeper she was getting. As a parent, especially with swimming, let this be a warning, never take your eyes off your child, because believe me no-one noticed her.

Kiss Chase

2009-06-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

Today was costume day at preschool. Molly-Mae decided she would wear her brand new authentic Spanish dress that Grandpa had sent from Spain. Charlie made a fabulous Winnie the Pooh!

When I came back to pick them up I saw my little Spanish girl chasing some poor boy around the hall trying to kiss him. The little guy was desperately trying to escape her clutches, the whole time her dress was swishing around him and her neck protruded forward with clenched lips sticking out. I stood and watched her for a moment, torturing this little man and eventually I called her name. She came over to me looking a little sheepish and all I could think of is "Boy, am I in trouble".

Update

2009-06-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

First of all - thank you to everyone who left a comment, emailed and even called me about my last post - your thoughts and kindness have made me realize that I am wasting to0 much energy on the past and I need to concentrate all that energy on the present and what I have got in my 2 beautiful kids. So that is my intention, and I feel good about it.

Secondly, remember my horror story of Charlie dropping my external hard drive on the floor, well we are talking $1200 for data recovery. Lets just say this will never happen again, as I am buying 2 external drives and backing up one of them every month. But - and it is a big but - how can I remain mad at him when he looks like this. You just can't beat Thomas the Tank Y-fronts and Wellington Boots.

Thanks Rachel for sending me this photo, it made my day.

I am currently in Colorado for work till the rest of the week, no kids, its raining and it is now 1.11 am - I need to go to bed but I am just enjoying the peace and quiet. I can look out of my room and see the Flatirons - a mountainous terrain, beautiful.

Oh and one last thing my 2 year old son turned to me the other day and said "I don't like this mummy its crap" as he picked at the food on his plate. Needless to say I was horrified and quizzed him immediately where he learnt the word - Oh the joys of going to preschool!!!

Thanks again everyone I really do appreciate all the comments you made.

36 years later - I feel totally crushed

2009-05-27T00:34:00.000-07:00

I first started this post in early May because I knew I couldn't write it in one day. It makes me on the edge.

If you ask my family and friends to describe me, I am pretty sure that one word they wouldn't use is bitter. But currently that is how I feel about this particular subject. I am bitter and I am angry and I am sad. These are strange emotions for me.

20 years ago today my mum died - she left me again! The big 'C' ripped through her body at 49. She had breast cancer at 45 and was supposedly clear, until 4 years later when it spread like a wild fire. But, this is not what is making me feel all the feelings I described earlier. Of course I am sad, of course I am mad at the cancer for taking her life and amazingly I can't believe it has been 20 years.

BUT - for the first time in 40 years I am angry at her, I feel bitterness towards her. I want to go back to the way I felt a few months ago, but now that road has gone and I am on a different path, and I'm not sure how to turn around or how to move forward. Oh and yes, I am feeling guilty for having these feelings towards someone who has already passed away.

So why am I feeling like this? To cut a very long story short, my mother left my dad when I was 4 for another man, my dad had full custody of my older sister who was 12 and my older brother who was 10. I totally understand her leaving, she said she had fallen out of love with my dad and I really believe you only have one life, so you have to do all you can to make yourself happy. Its not this which makes me bitter either. My dad was the best parent I could have wanted, and even if I had the choice I would have chosen him.

When my mum left us, she moved to another country for this man. She did NOT see me for 3 years and then we saw her for 2 weeks and then we didn't see her again for another 3 years. This is what is causing me all the pain. As I look at my 4 year old daughter today, I don't get it, how could she have left us for 6 years. 6 years of not seeing milestones, for my brother and sister these were their teenage years. How the hell could she do this? My sister got it, she was angry at the time. Me, I lived in my own little world and was just happy to see her for those 2 weeks. But now, I am so angry. I want to ask her why? I want to ask her why she didn't persuade the man she loved to move near us, so that she could be around us?

Truly until my daughter was 3 and a half my parents divorce had never bothered me - and now 36 years later, I find myself crying whenever I think about it. Not just tears that roll gently down my cheek, actual big sobs. This month as her anniversary approached, relatives kindly reminded me that it is 20 years and each time I think about it, I break down.

I can't believe now, how she could have left us for so long. I am totally crushed by it. Don't get me wrong I know she had regrets. She lived in her second marriage with regrets, she knew she had made a mistake. She was unhappy with this man who treated her poorly, but felt she had to stay after what had happened with my father, she told relatives it was her penance.

The trouble is I am never going to get the answers I am looking for, both her and my father have passed away. So how do I go back to where I was before, not caring about the past? Or how do I move forward going along this new road? I am never going to get closure on this, on my question of why we were not important enough to see in 6 years? I know I just need to get over it and what is past is past. For sure I know it will never happen with me and my children and that is what I have to hold on to. I am just stuck in a sad place right now and it is so not like me and I just want to move forward and I don't know how.

Before you comment, (I wasn't sure whether to have closed the comment box) please don't tell me you're sorry, please don't tell me what a bad mother she sounds, because I am not sure I believe she was a bad mother - I really don't want to hear that and anyway I feel only my sister, my brother and I, can make that judgement and it would hurt me more. I only WANT comments on how I can move forward.

I am sick of Vick

2009-05-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

He has spent 23 months in prison for dogfighting, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is out and will be working with The Humane Society of the US on their campaign against dogfighting. This exceptionally cruel dog murderer who originally pleaded "Not Guilty" to animal cruelty apparently showed remorse! REALLY? Remorse or sorry that he got caught? Or is he sorry that he went from revered athlete to convicted felon! I am sorry - I don't believe his remorse. Isn't it true that many serial killers start with killing animals.

I want to quote something from "Donna at BADRAP" who worked extensively with some of the rescued "Vick Dogs" and was involved with the case shortly after Vick was arrested.

"Everyone we worked with was deeply affected by the case. The details that got to me then and stay with me today involve the swimming pool that was used to kill some of the dogs. Jumper cables were clipped onto the ears of underperforming dogs, then, just like with a car, the cables were connected to the terminals of car batteries before lifting and tossing the shamed dogs into the water. Most of Vick's dogs were small - 40lbs or so - so tossing them in would've been fast and easy work for thick athlete arms. We don't know how many suffered this premeditated murder, but the damage to the pool walls tells a story. It seems that while they were scrambling to escape, they scratched and clawed at the pool liner and bit at the dented aluminum sides like a hungry dog on a tin can.

I wear some pretty thick skin during our work with dogs, but I can't shake my minds-eye image of a little black dog splashing frantically in bloody water ... screaming in pain and terror ... brown eyes saucer wide and tiny black white-toed feet clawing at anything, desperate to get ahold. This death did not come quickly. The rescuer in me keeps trying to think of a way to go back in time and somehow stop this torture and pull the little dog to safety. I think I'll be looking for ways to pull that dog out for the rest of my life."

Unfortunately this was just one of his methods of murdering his animals.

I am sickened and disappointed that the HSUS are thinking of using him, I am sorry to me its just a marketing ploy by 'Vick's people' to get him back in the NFL. For me I hope that the NFL will turn his back on him. There are so many great quarterbacks out there - I hope they don't invite him back.

I need to go back in time - just 30 seconds will do

2009-05-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

You know there are moments in time when you wish you could go backwards just 30 seconds? Tonight was one of those moments as I watched my external hard drive get knocked to the floor by my son, breaking apart and not working anymore. It was one of those slow motion moments as I saw the box sliding across the table (he got his foot caught in the wire) and you hear yourself shouting "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Yes that was me 30 minutes ago.

Lets see what do I have on my hard drive:-
About 100 GB worth of photos - yes 100 GB - every single photo I have taken since 2004 including all the commercial photos.
All the movies of the kids
20 GB of Digital Scrapbooking stuff
Artwork from various projects
Taxes
Business info
Pretty much my whole life for the last 5 years.

You know when you either think I am going to harm my child or cry? Cry its better for both of you.

You know when you are in the middle of a project and you are using your hard drive not your computer to save it, because you want to keep a back up - that was my back up.

You know when you think you are going to throw up - thats me right now - UGH!

Make mine an Altoid

2009-05-18T16:22:00.000-07:00

We managed to have no crying at Preschool from Charlie today. Woo hoo! However my daughter announced today that in school they say "ah mint". I corrected her and said no I think you mean "Amen", no she said "Its ah mint". "I really think its Amen" I said. She turned to me and said "No mummy its definitely Ah Mint".

I love her!

Some Days

2009-05-15T20:06:00.000-07:00

There are some days I just want to sit on the sofa, without a child sitting on me or a dog.

There are some days I just want to go to the toilet without a child joining me.

There are some days I just want to lie in bed without a child or a dog laying on me.

There are some days I just want to sit watching the TV on my own.

There is NEVER a day, I want to be alone without them.

What Color Crayon Are You?

2009-05-15T05:16:00.000-07:00

I did this fun quiz at blogthings
You Are a Red Crayon

Your world is colored with bright, vivid, wild colors.

You have a deep, complex personality - and you are always expressing something about yourself.

Bold and dominant, you are a natural leader. You have an energy that is intense... and sometimes overwhelming.

Your reaction to everything tends to be strong. You are the master of love-hate relationships.

Your color wheel opposite is green. Green people are way too mellow to understand what drives your energy.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Awesome

2009-05-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

The very thoughtful Septembermom over at My Voice, My View gave me an award. That's 2 awards in one week how awesome is that. Oh and the award is this - 'Queen of ALLL Things Awe-Summmm!'

According to this award's rules, I have to list seven awesome things about myself. This is going to take some time because I really only think I am awesome at one thing, (number 1 on my list).

So here you go:-

I produce damn fine looking kids! Of course I need my husbands help on that one and I know I am tooting my own horn, they have natural beauty and I can't believe how "Awe-Summm" they are. See below.
I make a pretty good quiche.
I would like to think that I am a pretty good friend. Once you become my friend I am loyal and have friends going back to my childhood. I hate to let go - even if its only a Christmas card once a year.
I have an awesome memory for dates in my life. In fact so does my dad and my sister. We can tell you what day and what month certain events happened in our lives. My husband thinks its hilarious, when I say things like "Oh that happened when we were sailing on the Norfolk Broads in August, 1977, I think it may have been the Tuesday" - sometimes he calls me Rainman.
Because of the above I remember everyones birthday.
Don't get me started on the history of pit bulls I could either bore you to death or inspire you to love them, I can literally give you a half hour lecture, with dates on the history of the breed. OH and just in case you didn't know I love my 2 rescued pit bulls.
I have the desire to be an awesome photographer but the truth is I think there is a special something that really, really good photographers have. For a start every great photographer I know is really "anal" about their photography and I am so NOT! Wildlife photographers will sit in their lair waiting for days/weeks/months to get that perfect shot. I just don't have that patience.

Ok so now I have to tag 7 bloggers. As I already tagged a few awesome bloggers last week I am going on a different tactic.

Rachel is a fabulous photographer and I think she might even admit she is anal - plus I used her photo of Charlie.
Valerie just found me - she's a Brit and is super sweet.
The Muse - love word games - go and check her out - she is a designer and does great trash to treasure posts.
Roshni at Not a Science Geek - one very intelligent woman who has the most amazing parents - who do so much for their community
Anna See - over at An inch of Gray - I have only recently discovered her and I love her writing
U Know Who - over at the Devils Daughter in Law - think you have a bad mother in law - check out some of these horror stories.
Kate - over at the Big Piece of Cake - If you haven't got over to Kate's yet you are missing out, she is funny, she loves Anthropologie (the store and so do I) but most of all she is very supportive.

So thank you again Septembermom - just an add on - I am not awesome at leaving my son at preschool and not breaking out in a cold sweat, tears etc. as I leave :(

Our First Day

2009-05-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

It was my first official day at work yesterday. As first day's go it was great and I worked 8-12.

It was also the 1st day for the kids at another new preschool. Molly-Mae rushed in and in usual fashion was straight into playing and talking to other kids. Charlie on the other hand was a completely different story. Ever since I had those 3 days in Colorado in April, Charlie has been really clingy and a little naughty. I think it is my punishment for leaving him. He cried as I left, which I was expecting. Molly-Mae then told me he cried pretty much the whole day. He cried because he peed his pants, he cried because the other kids laughed at him for telling them he loved his mummy and daddy (according to Molly-Mae - that was a stab in the heart), and he cried when he had to move to the other class room, leaving Molly-Mae. At least when I picked him up he wasn't crying.

Today was the same story, this time as I left him I myself had a few tears in my eyes. Let me just say I understand Kari's sentiments in "I left my heart at preschool".

Don't get me wrong I know it will get better and it may take a couple of weeks or even a couple of months but it still doesn't make it any easier.

Doggy tales or is tails

2009-05-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

In honor of an award I was given this week from my friends over at The Woofgang I thought I would post a doggy tale.

This swiss cheese lawn is what our garden currently looks like - thank you gophers.

Then Macy gets a hold of the soil with her teeth, and digs and digs in that terrier way and makes it about 2 feet wide.

See all those soil patches in the photo below, that is all the holes she has made. Then she will guard a particular hole until one of the kids comes along and then they get a muddy, sloppy kiss.

Then she might get an extra special hug - check out Charlie's new haircut. He looks like a totally different boy now.

Charlie doesn't get all the love Molly-Mae gets a lick or two too!

So thank you gophers for making my kids fall over all the time with the big divets that are now in our lawn.

Check out Jane and her 2 woofers; Daisy (you got to love this puppy) and Boomer. Thank you for the award which I am so truly grateful for.

So I am going to pass this on to other dog owners and dog blogs.
Life with dogs
Feet off the table - check out this post of her St Bernard's make over
Sheila over at maviefolle she has a St Bernard and a Golden
Vick Dog Blog - You have to check out this blog - Remember Michael Vick and what he did to his dogs - well this blog gives you inspiration - the photos and tales of how these dogs are doing in just fantastic
A Lil Welsh Rarebit - check out these photos of her little Foo and her black lab Dublin
Bad Rap Blog - This incredible organization turns dogs from victims into ambassadors. Sometimes these stories break my heart. The rescuers are saints in my eyes.

If you are a dog owner and you are reading this consider yourself tagged for the award.

A lesson in English by Molly-Mae aged 4

2009-05-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

While driving along the other day my daughter was talking to me about a friends pet.

MM - Remember when we saw their mouses.
Me - Mice, when there is more than one they are called mice.
MM - Why are they called mice.
Me - Because sometimes when there is more than one of something it is called a different word, and sometimes the word just has an S added to it. Like more than one child is children, and more than one horse is ... (I wait for her to tell me).
MM - Ponies

(Why the heck is the English Language so complicated, I meant for her to say horses).

Just so that you all know even though I have a Masters degree I am grammatically challenged and never use the correct grammar or bother to spell check my posts - as some of you may have read that horrendous error from the other day. That's why I had 2 English teacher friends correct my thesis for my masters.

Guest Post Virgin

2009-05-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today I lose my guest posting virginity! Yes, Christy over at A Lil' Welsh Rarebit asked me if I would write a guest post for her. Once I got over the shock of being asked I pondered over what I could possibly write about. As Christy's husband, Matt is Welsh and I grew up in Wales I thought about the beauty of Wales and how on one fine day I managed to spoil it. So go over to A Lil' Welsh Rarebit and read about my most embarrassing moment ever. In fact I am only brave enough to put it on her website.

Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin

2009-05-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Firstly thank you for all the birthday wishes, the day was fabulous.

So look at this thing - this appeared on my chin, no I am not talking about the dime, I am talking about that flippin huge hair, that is the diameter of the dime. Just because I turned 40 doesn't mean I can turn back into cat woman - what the heck!

Also do you think that someone, anyone, could have mentioned to me that there is a whisker poking out of my face. Seriously, friends, I wouldn't have minded, all you had to do was say "Heather, unless you pull that hair out you are going to turn into a gibbon". Or "Heather you appear to be turning into a cat - do you need that for putting your head into small spaces?"
Really, I would not be offended I would rather know about it than find it at dinner and then continue to try and pull it out discreetly for at least 15 minutes. That is, as discreet as you can be when you are tugging at a small fibre optic cable that is picking up the wireless signal from the laptop!

So my friends - please in the future, tell me of my afflictions. Before my chin hairs poke you from 6 feet away.

UH OH FOUR OH!

2009-04-29T01:05:00.000-07:00

I am 40 today! I am really not bothered about being 40 in fact, I think I am the happiest I have been in years. I have come to a new understanding about my life - since having kids, I am finally doing things for me and my family and I don't care what other people think. Of course I don't particularly like parts of my body since having kids, but I have got to the point in my life where rather than worry the heck out of myself, when I take my kids swimming, I truly think "I don't know these people and I am never going to see them again". Yes I am the person that wears the bikini with the stretch marks, I am the person that leaves the house with my hair all over the place and no make up, I am the person that doesn't make their guests take their shoes off when they enter the house (I value my guests over my carpets).

Admittedly growing up there were expectations of what I would have achieved by 40 and to be totally honest I am lucky enough to have exceeded many of those expectations. I truly feel blessed with my wonderful family and friends. So in honor of my four oh, I am giving you 40 details of my life that make me the person I am.

My children make me happy, they are beautiful inside and out and although they sometimes make me crazy, I can not imagine my life without them.
My husband is incredibly thoughtful, he makes me laugh constantly, I still fancy him and I still look forward to seeing him at the end of the day, he truly is my best friend.
My home is on land facing a nature reserve and is so peaceful, I love it.
My dogs, our first "children" they have made me passionate about their breed and I am drawn to educating people about them.
My father, the first real love of my life, a man of incredible strength, honor and respect. A man that can bring up 3 kids on his own, back in the 70's!
My sister, the strongest woman I know, not physically I am sure I can beat her at arm wrestling - a major influence on my life.
My brother, a man I love and respect - I just wish he would call me more often.
My education - suprisingly enough I have a Masters degree in Education.
My friends - they have become my family here in the USA and they are true.
My countries - UK and USA - I love them both and they are both home.
My photography - I could do day in and day out - for a while I got paid to do it.
My travel - I get itchy feet and I love to visit new places as much as I can.
My food - I LOVE food.
My grandparents - both influenced me in different ways.
My love of the outdoors.
My passion for sports, (playing not watching).
My need to help others.
My inability to say NO because I worry about hurting people's feelings.
My worries about not being a good enough mum.
My jobs - I have been a teacher, a sports development officer, a coach, a bar tender, a waitress, a photoshop retouch artist, a photographer, a shop assistant, a production manager, a sports center manager, a lifeguard, an events co-ordinator and a rabbit mascot.
My luck - I think I am pretty lucky to have what I have.
My empathy - I am the pathetic girl that cries in way to many movies and shows.
My eclectic taste in music.
My love of animals.
My desire to teach my kids that good manners is so important.
My poor eyesight - not an affliction - but a part of my everyday life, plus it has brought about many laughs when I think I am seeing things I am not.
My clutzyness - constantly makes me laugh.
My long hair - I love it (except the gray).
My eye color - gray blue - I love it.
My need to connect with friends and family, old and new - I have been referred to as the "hub" in the past.
My traveling experiences - I have been to England, Ireland (North and South), Scotland, Wales, France, Germany, East Germany (before the wall came down), Belgium, Holland, Switzerland, Italy, Greece, Crete, The Balaeric Islands, Bermuda, USA, Canada, Mexico and Iceland. I wish there was more
My lack of need to follow fashion, its all about comfort and has been for at least the last 15 years.
My love of chips and salsa - the best comfort food.
My feelings towards Molly-Mae and Charlie the most intense I have ever felt.
My love of sunrise and sunsets.
My favorite sounds the kids giggling and the ocean waves.
My favorite smell, fresh cut grass and Cadbury chocolate mini eggs.
My ability to love 2 countries, and the luck I have had to live in both.
My fear that I will lose my husband or one of my children.
My life - I wouldn't change one thing - OK maybe one, I wish we lived in a bigger house, I just need one more bedroom and that's it.

There you go - my 4o things that make me.

How to impress your new employer

2009-04-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

I am back from Colorado, Boulder was beautiful, the hotel was fabulous but like normal I managed to be as clutzy as ever. Here are my top 5 tips I learnt from my little trip while trying to impress my possible new employer.

When wandering around airport after visiting the rest room it is always best to check if your belt is done up.
Do not try and stab slightly overcooked sweet potato fries with a fork, while sitting opposite new boss, they act like harpoons.
While fellow employee comments that you have a little something on your nose, check to see what you are wiping it with, DO NOT USE napkin covered in mayonnaise. This might cause a lot of hilarity at your expense.
Try not to flick knife into your lap as you are talking at dinner.
When dyeing your hair before trip, (yes I finally got rid of those grays), try to wash it at least once before you use the hotel's super white towels. They don't really appreciate the red all over the towels.

Outcome even with the clutzy moments I start my new job May 11th, part time, so I get to work mornings and hang out with my kids in the afternoon - brilliant, I get the best of both worlds.

Oh and one more thing, you know I was so looking forward to having a full nights sleep without any 2 legged or 4 legged visitors, well, it didn't happen. That bed was so comfortable and I was so tired, yet I could not sleep. It was like torture. One night I got back to the hotel at 1am from picking someone up at the airport, I fell into bed and I was wide awake. I eventually fell asleep only to wake at 5am and was unable to get back to sleep. I am sure my body has decided to pay me back for all those years of mistreatment!

Oh and for those that wanted pictures - I didn't take 1! I get to go back in June though so hopefully I'll take some then.

I'm off to Colorado

2009-04-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Remember I told you I won't be commenting as much because I had a little project going on, and I had visitors here for the whole of the month. Well my little project has turned into a bigger one involving me going to Colorado for 3 days/2 nights WITHOUT KIDS!!!

Now normally the thought of going to Colorado without kids would be fabulous except for one thing. Nic and I have not seen each other for longer than half an hour since March 31st. He was in Europe for 2 weeks and when he got back he was straight into a big cycling event here in California. So although he has actually made it home at night, I have been in bed asleep and he is out early in the morning. Sunday evening that event finishes and in the early hours Monday I go to Colorado.

Nic's parents were here for the early part of the month which has been great and I was very sad to see them go and now my stepbrother is arriving, while I am in Colorado, and he is here until the end of the month.

So you see, I have mixed feelings I have never been to Colorado and am sooooo looking forward to it, even though I will be working, but I haven't seen Nic in so long that I kind of don't want to leave. As for my little ones this will be wierd leaving them for 2 nights, although I have to say I am so looking forward to a full nights sleep without any 2 legged visitors in the middle of the night. Knowing me, I probably won't be able to sleep!

So bloggy buddies I will be back later next week, I'll be missing you (I am not taking my laptop), missing my hubby and definitely missing my kids.

What happens in Michaels stays in Michaels

2009-04-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

The other day I had to take my kids to Michaels Craft store to look for something specific. My kids were model kids as we crossed the car park, holding hands and giggling with each other. Some other customers looked at them and said "how cute". Then we walked into the store and somehow the red eyed monster came out and they became the kids from hell. Seriously, I have never been embarrassed to take my kids anywhere before, but for some reason they literally managed to cause havoc in 20 minutes. I so wanted to leave but I went out of my way to go to this store and I needed to get specific items by Monday. Here is a breakdown of the 20 minutes from hell:-

Run round as many aisles as you can away from parent and scream loudly
Knock over crayola boxes
Play sword fights with trowels
Get out wooden ornaments and put them all in the wrong place
Climb racks
Scream loudly when parent is talking to the girl who is trying to help her
Interrupt while girl is talking to parent
Pick up bags and drop them on the floor
Touch everything you can
While girl is talking to the other store on the phone and parent has child in arms to stop child from running like a maniac round the store - scream "put me down" as many times as possible, at top of lungs
Get everyone in line at checkout to feel sorry for child because parent will not put child down
When parent does put child down, don't put feet on floor making it look like parent dropped child and banged head on counter
Scream even louder
Older child say to parent with disgust "mummy, you shouldn't drop Charlie"
Parent tries to remain calm without wanting to say "what the hell did you just say"
Parent wishes she could leave shop but is on a time goal.
Parent gets in car and lets rip on children
Parent cries.

The best thing about being an older mum

2009-04-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about being an 'older' mum is having friends who have kids that have gone through all the stages of growth. They give you great advice when you need it and best of all you get hand me downs.

This was our latest hand me down we were given - FOR FREE! We are turning that little playhouse at the top into the guest suite - it has amazing views - I think it will be a selling point for the in-laws.

It took a whole day taking it down and a whole day to put it back up - but what an Easter present for the kids.

Quote of the week by Lilah aged 3

2009-04-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

I was visiting my friend the other day and she had her grandchildren with her. She relayed to me what had happened just moments earlier.

Nico - "G Bear (that's what they call her), Lilah's eating my cookie"
G Bear - "Lilah are you eating Nico's cookie?"
Lilah - "NO! I am just looking at it with my tongue"

How to make me cry

2009-04-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have this friend who is incredibly generous, funny and is the most creative person I know. She is an amazing photographer and does it on an amateur basis, but really should get paid for it. And she does things like this which makes me cry, when I am least expecting it.

Bad Hair Day

2009-04-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

You know I told you that I really, really needed a haircut because my gray hair has taken over. Well I have been examining other people's haircuts to see if they will suit me as I fell like I need a change. Then I saw this:-

Please tell me the mullett is not coming back into fashion along with bad 80's clothes.

Ps. Sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs - I have been reading, I promise - all will be back to normal at the end of the month

Annnnddd.... three more bites it is!

2009-04-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Wild Child over at Naked Opinions wanted me to participate in the game of three more bites. You know that annoying game you play around the dining room table that can last for hours.

My daughter actually is not a bad eater, my son on the other hand is awful. Last year there were days when he literally ate 2 mouthfuls of food all day. In 6 months he gained 1 lb. At his 18 month appointment he was still only 21 lbs and was on the 5th percentile. Every night I would put food on his plate and every night it would either end up on the floor or in the dogs mouths. My dogs would hang around the highchair and sing the "Magic chair, magic chair throw some food down" song - you know like Rapunzel.

My Dr wasn't worried about his weight gain and told me to watch him over 4 days - and I would find that he would eat a balanced diet as long as I kept putting the good stuff in front of him. Charlie is an active boy - like his father - both of them, the moment their eyes open they are on the go! The one thing my Dr said was "he is not going to starve himself" and those words stay in my mind when Charlie still doesn't eat.

He won't eat any meat, except sausage, on the other hand my daughter could be all carnivore. She will just eat the meat on the plate sometimes. (Just a note I am vegetarian but my kids and my husband eat meat - the kids are on the understanding that I don't like chicken etc. and before you even think it - it DOES NOT influence Charlie he is just picky and always has been).
We have been out and my husband bought my kids a hot dog, Molly-Mae would eat the hot dog and Charlie would eat the bun. In contrast, Charlie loves lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, carrots, in fact most vegetables and all fruits that he has tried. He is also my carb guy, he loves all the carb stuff.

As for Molly-Mae she is a pretty good eater, and overall is pretty healthy. She doesn't like breaded anything, fries (I know amazing) and there are even certain cookies she is just not interested in. She won't eat a whole bag of sweets at one time, she likes to save some for later (unlike her mum).

We do however do the dining room dance some nights - you know just 3 more bites! I was not allowed to get down from the table until I had eaten everything on my plate growing up, I still have issues with this, and even when I am full, I hate to leave things on my plate. I still can't eat peas, as they remind me of the peas that used to be on my plate, cold and greasy after being at the table for an hour. Some nights its a struggle to get those 3 more bites, some nights there is bribery and some nights there are raised voices. But overall I think my kids have a good diet.

So I think I am going to tag September Mom as she is bound to have dining room table stories as she has 4 kids.

All things American

2009-03-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

There are so many things I love about America, growing up, if someone asked me what do you think of when I say "America" I would have said - Drive-ins, Coca-Cola, Mailboxes, Yellow School buses, driving on the open road on a Harley Davidson, the Hollywood sign and Las Vegas. Now I am here of course, I still think of some of those things as being typically American, but my thoughts of them have changed.

One of my favorite American things seems to be dying a death. Our local town (I say local its 20 miles away for me) had a drive-in movie theater until December 2007. It was one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday night. My husband and I would grab a take away and head off to the drive-in, pay our $6 and watch 2 current movies until about midnight. We made it a family affair, we would take the dogs and when the kids were born we would put them in their pyjamas and they would be asleep by the time we got there, and Nic and I could have a 'night out'. We attended the last night of our local drive in and I felt really sad when the voice on the loudspeaker finally told everyone goodbye. The lot where the drive in remains empty while the landowner is sorting out permits for new buildings etc. There are so few left now around the country and I think it is so sad - as it is a great family/date night.

Coca-Cola is still all American for me although my tastes lately have changed to Pepsi - which isn't good for all the Coca-Cola advertising art work I have in my kitchen.

Mailboxes - I dislike the American system of having mailboxes on the roadside. In the UK the letter box is in your front door, so the post man has to physically push your mail through the front door. We have had our mail stolen here in the US - so now we have a locked version. I loved the idea of having the mailboxes on the road when I would see neighbors chatting on TV, in their robes and slippers, that's not real life in my neck of the woods.

Schoolbuses - still all American for me.

Las Vegas - I love all the casinos and the glitz at night, but hate walking down the street having pornographic material shoved in my hands. My new judgement on Las Vegas is 50/50 still all American but a little too seedy for me.

Hollywood sign - still amazing but then I don't live in LA.

Harley Davidsons - just recently 2 of the local dealers have gone bankrupt - I would hate to see this American icon go out of business forever.

What I now think of when I think about America is the countryside - I think of all the wonderful beaches where we live, the wildlife from marine to air, the mountains of Lake Tahoe and the deserts of Palm Springs, the tropical and volcanic Hawaii and the beauty of the Sierras. That's now what America means to me, this is the America the beautiful!

And the winner is...

2009-03-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

Firstly I want to apologize my posts are going to be a bit erratic over the next month. We have visitors for most of the month, and I have a little project that I need to work on. I am trying to read as many blogs I can at night in bed, but I haven't been able to comment as much as I like to - so know I am reading your blogs.

Remember my problem for needing a name for my children to call my mother. Well I gave all your suggestions to my daughter and asked her to decide and the winner is "Grandma Aimee".

Thank you everyone for giving me suggestions, I really do appreciate your help.

I am a little disturbed

2009-03-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

Since adding Google Analytics at the beginning of February I have been shocked at how people have found this blog using keywords. Let me tell you, I am a little disturbed.

Here are the top 5 in order of hits

Itouch the sex toy - from this post
McDreamy - which could have been from this one or this one
Blue poop in infants - from this one of Charlie's birthday
Gray pubic hair - you know you want to read this (in fact I had a comment left yesterday on this one)
Dog sex, Dogs with pubes (this is too yucky for me to think about) the only post I can think this is - is this one (Seriously dog pubes - who would do a search on that)?

So now I am wondering if I should drop analytics as it is freaking me out a little, especially as there were lots of variations of the above. Plus I am probably going to get more people checking my blog out, because I've gone and said it all again - eeeewwww, sorry can't get over number 5.

NOTE TO GOOGLE WEIRDO'S

THIS IS A FAMILY BLOG, NOTHING FOR YOU TO SEE HERE - TAKE YOUR SEARCHES ELSEWHERE PLEASE!

Help I need a name

2009-03-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Molly-Mae - Your daddy is dead right. (Oh no not again)
Me - Yes
Molly-Mae - and your mummy?
Me - Yes
Molly-Mae - Did they want to see me?
Me - Of course they did.
Molly-Mae - and now they are dead!
Me - Yes
Molly-Mae - I want to see them!
Me - Well you can see them in your dreams, that's where I see them and in photos.
Molly-Mae - I see Grandpoppy in my dreams and Ariel (I am not sure how my dad got to be with mermaids but if he is, he is probably having a great time).
Me - Its good to see them in our dreams
Molly-Mae - I love Grandpoppy, he's your daddy right?
Me - Yep
Molly-Mae - What's your mummy called?
Me - Ummm! Ummm! (Unbelievable amount of silence)
Molly-Mae - What's your mummy called?
Me - Ummm!
Molly-Mae - Mummy, what's your mummy called?
Me - Aimee.

A little bit of background - both mine and Nic's parents are divorced and both my parents have passed away. My mum passed away 20 years ago and I don't talk about her unless I'm asked. The trouble is I have never thought of a name for her, for my kids. We already have, Nana and Grandad, Grandma and Grandpa, Grandpoppy and Granny. So if anyone out there has a name they can suggest please leave a comment.

Should it be 20% already

2009-03-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

I need a haircut and my hair dyed - my roots are showing and they aren't pretty! The trouble with getting my hair done is Nic has to be home on a weekend, and my hairdresser has to have an appointment. And the next 4 weekends are out as we have the in-laws here and Nic is gone.

Last night I did an experiment - I took a random sampling of hair and counted 10 - 2 were grey, that means I am 20% grey at 39. I am actually pleased with that, because to be honest I thought it was going to be more. Its the way they shine in the bathroom light, I thought that I was about 40%.

I am 40 next month, I am truly not worrying about it but I am noticing that parts of my body are starting to change. Obviously the most noticeable is my hair but for me the second is my hands. I remember my mothers hands and ankles vividly - which is wierd because her face fades now - she passed away 20 years ago. Both my sister and I have my mum's legs and skinny ankles and I am not sure about my sisters hands but mine are looking older, more lines and they look just like hers. I guess its time for me to start using hand cream. My roots, I can cover up (well as long as Nic is around), but my hands they are out there.

Age is not something I am fearful of, but I don't want to look like my husband's older sister or even worse his mum. He was working in our yard once when a newspaper salesman stopped by and asked him if his mum and dad were home - he was 32. He has not got one grey hair, but then his dad has just turned 70 and has only started going grey over the last few years. Lets hope my kids get his 'young' genes.

….99 things…....(also known as too-tired-to-write-anything post)

2009-03-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

Here are the rules: Bold the things you’ve done and post on your blog!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld (how about Disneyland and Eurodisney)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (does a 10-K count?)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (we were able to walk up it too)
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (it was a police helicopter too)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (as a waitress when I was 14 because I wanted the day off)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (only Molly-Mae has it)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve (several)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (i'm a vegetarian so this is never gonna happen)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Thank you Christy from a lil welsh rarebit for tagging me. In turn I am going to tag Roshni from Not a Science Geek, Sadie from Welcome to Sadieland and Holly from Journey to Oz (who is preparing for an ironman down under - yep she's crazy).

Inspired by Braja

2009-03-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

I have not been able to stop thinking about Braja this weekend, and it has inspired me to turn off my computer and the TV and play with my kids and I mean really play with them. The hugs I gave them were longer and harder and we had a really fun weekend of quality time together. It is way to easy, to forget what we have.

On Friday we had movie night, we snuggled up on the sofa all 3 of us (Nic was in the UK) and we watched Happy Feet. On Saturday, our friend and her daughter came over and we did crafts, and played dress up, and swung on the tire swing. Then on Sunday we took the dogs for a long walk and played in the sand pit and rode our bikes and generally had fun.

Here are a few moments from our weekend thank you Rachel from http://www.sweetnessandlight.vox.com for taking these photos of us.

Good vibes are needed for Braja

2009-03-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

One of my blogging friends who is funny, spiritual and just damn right nice was hurt in a head on crash in India on the 12th March. Braja from http://lostandfoundinindia.blogspot.com/ was traveling to the airport for a vacation in New Zealand. Her husband is critical and the taxi driver is in danger of losing his legs.

Please, please, please send good vibes for their speedy recovery.

For more details you can read http://ladyfi.wordpress.com/2009/03/13/lost-and-found-in-india/ or http://mayapur.com/node/1075

Quotes of the week by Molly-Mae aged 4

2009-03-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

On the way back from the post office the other day Molly-Mae said:-

"mummy, when we get home I propose we have lunch".

Propose - where the heck did she get that from, it wasn't me - I know she thinks she is a princess but really!

I have to add this as well:-

We went to the lab the other day so that I could get some blood drawn, the room was absolutely full and everyone there was Latino, there was not one seat left. I stood near the counter and it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop until Molly-Mae turned to me and said:-

"Mummy, everyone is looking at me, because I am soooooo beautiful".

Let me just tell you I never tell her she is beautiful (even though I think she is), but unfortunately other people do. I've been trying to tell her that beautiful is how nice you are to people. All I can say is thank God she didn't burst out in her pretend Spanish like last time.

Why we live here

2009-03-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

There is a reason we live where we live! First of all we live opposite a nature reserve. So we do get to see wildlife pretty much all of the time. We do however live in a very small two bedroom house, that is bursting at the seams with 2 kids and 2 dogs. The other thing is we are in a very sucky school district and I mean VERY BAD!

But look where we live. Point A is our house. The other day I had to go to point B which is our local post office.

And on our way to the post office I saw this?

These guys hang out here all the time, and then I remember, yep we live in a small house, in a bad school district - but who gets to sea otters every day.

Smoking typewriter

2009-03-10T08:02:00.001-07:00

Last week I was given the smoking typewriter award by the lovely Rachel at A Reservation for Six.The thing is I remember learning to type on a very old typewriter like this, in fact I have one still in my parents attic.

The first part of Rachel's rules to accepting the award includes posting the picture and linking back to the blogger who awarded me. Thank you Rachel! Next comes the fun task of putting my name in a Google image search. So I put in "Fergiesims" and this is the first image that came up - this is my Charlie and the goat - a pic that nanny goats in panties posted. I love this pic! He has a condition called Nystagmus and he tilts his head like this to focus - I guess the goat has Nystagmus too! Everything else that came up,was to do with Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, so I took Rachel's idea and searched for the phrase "Exhausted, Heather" in a Google search, as that currently reflects my state of mind!

Exhausted, Heather is haunted by flashbacks of the nightly attacks during the day and afraid to fall asleep at night. (I didn't want to read anymore on this - sounds to creepy)

Exhausted, Heather knew she needed to make a change. "I had developed a strange eye twitch". (You know you are laughing at this one)

Exhausted, Heather wanders through the crowded streets of Manhattan, winding up on the quays by the waterfront. (I've always wanted to go to Manhattan)

Exhausted, Heather found a model for transforming suffering in the teachings of the Catholic Church - the last place she thought she’d end up. (That's pretty much right as I am not Catholic)

Exhausted, Heather was once again admitted to a psychiatric unit where she spent 6 months. When she was released she had no place to live and nowhere to go. (Tragic, but if I don't get some uninterrupted sleep who knows).

Exhausted, Heather has earnt its summer rest and was coated with an extraordinarily heavy coat of thick frost. (I hope they are talking about the plant)

Exhausted, Heather but isn't she worth just everything! (Heck yes)

Exhausted, Heather served us tea. (You know that would happen I'm a Brit and we all love our cuppa).

Exhausted, Heather is working so hard, but not progressing very quickly. (Sadly that seems so true).

Exhausted, Heather's dreams continued their love making till the songs of the morning birds woke her. (umm, not sure what to say on this one other than I am exhausted before I get into bed and I have nightly 2 legged and 4 legged visitors into our bed so usually its not the morning birds that wake me)

So the final step is awarding this hot smoking typewriter to 10 great bloggers. Now the problem is Rachel and I run in the same circles - and some of the bloggers that I read daily she has already awarded, and because my laptop has been a little under the weather lately, its taken me over a week to do this post, so here are a few out of that circle!

Kara at I left my heart at preschool
Kirsten at the Norwindians
Kylie at Slightly Cracked
Yo at Write on Yo
Belle at Fawty
Wendi at wendi-arrons
The Muse at a Diva's Hammer
Jessica at Bernthis
Vodka Mom at waitress wheres my martini
Stacey at anymommy

I double dare you to go and check out some of these great bloggers!

So thank you Rachel one more!

Quote of the week by Charlie aged 2

2009-03-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

Charlie was sitting on the sofa next to me with some food on his plate, while I was holding my friends baby. Suddenly my friends baby kicked his legs touching Charlie's plate and Charlie shouted :-

"Mummy, baby Garrett's touching my nuts".

I am so childish I laughed for at least 10 minutes.

A week in review

2009-03-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

My lovely apple laptop that I love so much has been playing the "cut me off in the middle of a comment" game. So firstly I want to apologize I've been reading blogs on Nic's Itouch but not commenting as that stupid thing takes ages. Not sure what is going on with my laptop but all I ask is please don't die on me.

My daughter announced at swimming for everyone in the changing rooms to hear - "I can't wear my pants home (sorry we call pants underwear), as they have poop stains in them and are dirty".

I got my MRI results and I have a herniated disc.

My husband replaced my car radiator - thankfully saving us some money - even if it did take all day for him to do it. My husband is now in Colorado for the day, (poor guy had to get up at 3.30am this morning) and then flies to Europe next week. So I can guarantee something is going to happen next week out of the ordinary!

We had a quick power outage this morning and my son couldn't understand why the TV went grey and my daughter thought the answer was to get a "convertor box" - do you think she watches to much TV?

According to Kari at I left my heart at Preschool I am officially elderly in 6 weeks. (Yeah thanks for that Kari).

I got an award this week - woohoo - from Rachel at A Reservation for Six, which I will write about soon.

How much time?

2009-03-04T08:06:00.000-08:00

I recently was at a computerized exhibit at a museum, where a child had been playing. My kids sat down beside him and watched. After about 5 minutes my daughter very politely asked the boy "Evan" if she could have a go. He didn't answer her. A few minutes later Molly-Mae turned to me and said "he's not sharing mummy". Just at the same moment the mother passed by, (I had no idea where she was), and said "a few more minutes Evan". I turned to follow her with my eyes and she was about 30 feet away talking to some friends. I thought she must have seen us standing here and its been about 10 minutes now.

We waited a few more minutes thinking surely she is going to come back and get him off. Again my daughter turned to the boy and asked if she could have a go. He still didn't answer. I leaned forward and asked the boy if my daughter could have a go. He did answer me and I realized that he could possibly be autistic. Anyway, his answer was "no". I truly felt a little thrown. Eventually the mother came over again tapped him on the shoulder and said "3 more minutes Evan there are people waiting". At this point I probably should have said something to the mother but for some reason I didn't. 5 minutes later she came back with her friends kids in tow. "Ok Evan you need to get off now". A very reluctant "Evan" got off the stool and my daughter jumped on. She got as far as pressing the 'start new mission' button when Evan's little friends kept pressing the buttons next to my daughters hand and jammed the friggin computer. Even though I kept telling them to not touch it.

Let me tell you, I was really peeved at the other parents and yet I did nothing, which made me even more mad at myself. The staff were to far away to call for assistance. I understand the boy appeared to be autistic, and I felt that waiting over 10 minutes for a go made an allowance for that, but towards the end it was nearly 20 minutes. I think that is very bad parenting on all parts, including my own, as I feel that I should have stood up to the other mum and showed my kids that you can be polite to ask for things you need or want. However, I think if my kids had been on the exhibit I would have given them 5 minutes at the most before they had to get off if there were kids waiting. I don't blame the boy at all, I do however blame the parent as I found that incredibly rude and selfish. As for the parents of the other kids that "broke" the exhibit, they had seen how long my kids had been waiting and I thought it was very inconsiderate of them.

The outcome is - I am so incredibly proud of my kids for their patience and their politeness.

Your thoughts? What is acceptable?

Scrubs - To wear or not to wear

2009-03-02T19:59:00.000-08:00

My sister likes wearing scrubs but I know there are a lot of people who don't like wearing them to work, day in and day out, and I'm not sure why? Ok, they are not that flattering, if you have all the right bits in the right places and want to show them off, but for me, who had to wear them the other day for my MRI I thought I could wear them all the time.

Here are some benefits I thought of :-

They are as comfy as pyjamas but you can wear them out shopping, and people will think you haven't just got out of bed, or are to lazy to get dressed.
During the time of the month when your stomach gets bloated, (that's pretty much everyday, for me after dinner,) the scrubs don't show your bloated tummy.
My butt didn't look that big.
They come in all sort of patterns.
You don't have to worry about what you are going to wear to work as you know you are going to wear your scrubs.
You can save a ton of money by not buying clothes for "work".
You don't have to worry about visible panty lines (VPL's).
You can gain that 5lbs over Christmas and no one would notice.
Everybody is wearing the same so you don't have to worry about brand names.
You can pretend to be a Dr - I'm a Dr in Simsology - I have studied the adult version for 15 years and the junior version for 4. I think that makes me an expert.

Yep, I think I could wear scrubs!

Wales, Oh Wales

2009-03-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

Today is St. David's day (the Welsh National day and that is the Welsh flag in case you are wondering), and growing up in Wales it was a big part of my life. We would celebrate the day wearing leeks or daffodils on our clothes, yes I did say leeks. Apparantly, at some point in our history, the Welsh were fighting the English in the mud in similar uniforms, and the Welsh tied leeks to their hats so they could tell the difference. At our school, we would hold an Eisteddfod which is basically a festival. There would be Welsh dancing, singing and some would even dress up in traditional Welsh costumes - NOT ME, I might add.

So who was St David, if you really want to know there is a good portrait of his life right here. But basically he was a Celtic monk, abbot and bishop, who lived in the sixth century. During his life, he was the archbishop of Wales, and he was one of many early saints who helped to spread Christianity among the pagan Celtic tribes of western Britain.

Well it is days like today that make me miss home! I miss watching the Welsh Rugby team, rugby is HUGE in Wales and right now they are in the middle of the 6 Nations tournament. I miss the daffodils everywhere and I mean everywhere at this time of year. Of course I miss friends and family.

So if you want to try some Welsh Rarebit a traditional Welsh dinner in honor of St Davids Day, try this recipe by one of my new bloggy friends Christy over at alilwelshrarebit.

I need to keep my mouth shut for just one minute

2009-02-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

So today I went for x-rays and an MRI, I haven't been without the kids in such a long time that I forgot they weren't with me and as I was driving to the medical office this morning I saw a train and said out loud "there's the choo-choo". I realized I was on my own and then my inner voice had a conversation about me needing to get out more, so that this doesn't happen again. (This is the 2nd time I've done this, previously I've pointed out a school bus to myself).

I need to learn to follow rules and keep my mouth shut. Keeping my mouth shut has always been a challenge.

I was supposed to have 2 sets of x-rays, 5 views of my neck and 5 views of my lower spine. One of the ones for my neck involved the radiographer taking an x-ray through my mouth. So of course she set up the x-ray with my mouth open. But I was self conscious of her seeing all my fillings, and so, as she walked away I said "sorry about my coffee breath", followed by a little chuckle on my part, nervous chuckle I might add. Let me tell you what happened then - I ended up having an extra x-ray because it didn't take the picture correctly, as one certain person couldn't follow a simple rule such as don't move. Oops!

Later in the day I went for my MRI - again 2, one for the neck and one for the lower back. I have never had one before, and wasn't sure what to expect. Of course you have to lay perfectly still while you listen to a jackhammer making different tunes around you. Why is it that when you have to stay perfectly still you need to itch your nose or need to cough. I spent the first 20 minutes trying to think of anything other than itching my nose. My thoughts were - try to think of music that sounded like the tune of the MRI. I wasn't that successful except one of the "jackhammer tunes" sounded like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. By the time I had to have the second MRI my butt was numb, and I really wanted to cough - how annoying is that?

Basically I was in that thing for 40 minutes singing over and over again in my head:-

"I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me
Galileo (Galileo)
Galileo (Galileo)
Galileo figaro (Magnifico)
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go, let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go, let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go, let me go
Will not let you go, let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me".

By the way what the hell does Scaramouche mean?

I just want an appointment not the Spanish Inquisition

2009-02-24T22:03:00.000-08:00

This is a conversation I had today while trying to book an MRI:-

Me: "I'd like to book an MRI for Friday"
Receptionist: "Sure I just need to ask you a few questions"
Me: "OK"
Receptionist: "Do you have a pacemaker or any other electrical advice embedded"
Me: "No" (Geez I don't hit 40 for another few months)
Receptionist: "Do you have any metal in you - rods, pins etc"
Me: "No" (I always wanted to be the bionic woman though)
Receptionist: "Have you ever had any metal in your eye"
Me: "No" (Are you trying to make out that I am Frankenstein, I think that is possibly the wierdest question I have ever been asked)
Receptionist: "Are you pregnant or trying to get pregnant"
Me: "No that is what did my back in - in the first place"
Receptionist: "Oh - that's a little too much information"
Me: "What? Wait! No! I didn't mean that! I meant having kids got me into the situation, the actual birth process not the pre birth - Oh God I'm making this worse aren't I, I wouldn't share that type of information, not on the phone to someone I just met anyway". (Heather - SHUT UP - you are making it worse)
Receptionist: "he, he, he" laughing
Me: "I am blushing now"
Receptionist: "he, he, he" still laughing
Me: "So do you have any appointments on Friday" (Please let me get off the phone as soon as possible before I say something else that will embarass myself).

Guilty as charged!

2009-02-23T17:56:00.000-08:00

This is really a "sorry" to my friends and family who have listened to me whine recently about my kids. I truly am grateful for having 2 fantastic children, who are healthy, and as you know I waited a long time to get them, and the road was hard. However, I had no idea how parenting would put me in a permanent sense of guilt. They didn't teach me 'you would be guilty as charged' in my birthing classes.

You have dreams about what type of parent you are going to be, and I've learnt I'm not quite the person in my dreams. I thought it wouldn't be till the teen age years that I would be continually arguing with my kids, not when they were 2 and 4. but when you are exhausted sometimes even the smallest things can grate on your nerves and I feel guilty all the time:

I felt guilty when I went back to work and now I feel guilty about staying home and not bringing in any income.
I felt guilty when I stopped fulltime breastfeeding at 7 months and then completely at 10 months.
I feel guilty when they don't get their 5 sources of fruits and vegetables a day.
I feel guilty for letting them watch to much TV.
I feel guilty for telling them off - when sometimes the punishment doesn't always fit the crime.
I feel guilty for not wanting them to sit on my lap sometimes, when I just want a moment to myself - like on the toilet!!!!
I feel guilty for only having 4 dates with my husband in 4 years without kids.
I feel guilty for not having any time to myself since November (the physical therapy sessions don't count).
I feel guilty the dogs have had slow motion walks in the last 4 years and don't get to go out as often as they should.
I feel guilty they have to share a room and there is no chance of us getting a bigger house until I do go back to work full time.
I feel guilty when sometimes my kids just want a hug from me and I don't want to give it to them as I am in the middle of cooking, or laundry or ... (this one is the worst).

There are many other things that give me that sense of guilt, these are just some. I know I should just let it go, take things in my stride, and most of the time I do. I know I am doing the best job that I can do, but sometimes I dwell!

So to my friends and family I'm sorry I have been whining and guess what I feel guilty about it!

I still have Mummy Brain

2009-02-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

You know I thought by now my mummy brain would have gone and I wouldn't look like such an idiot all the time. Apparently, my mummy brain is still with me.

I had to pick up a home lumbar traction device from my physical therapist the other day and for the first time my little ones came to her office. As she helped me out to the car with the very large box, Molly-Mae went to the front of the car. As I watched her I realized I couldn't see Charlie. "Where's Charlie" I said in a panicked voice, scanning the street. As I turned to see my physical therapist looking very strangely at me, a voice said "here I am". Where was he? IN MY ARMS! I did that nervous chuckle type noise and then proceeded to tell her about my long and exhausting week trying to make some sense out of the fact that I was panicking about losing a son that I was carrying. I think I need sleep! Some uninterrupted sleep with no 2 legged or 4 legged creatures waking me up. I am truly exhausted but it may also be because Nic's been gone for 12 days and comes back tonight. In the time he has been gone the following has happened:-

My car battery died and the car had to be towed and I was in the middle of nowhere, and when I say nowhere, I mean surrounded by artichoke fields with the nearest town about 7 miles away.
I stabbed my daughter in the back with the leg of a chair I was carrying - I didn't see her.
My son jammed his fingers in between the baby car seat and the base of my friends baby.
My dog got diagnosed with 2 cancerous lumps.
My car developed a leaking radiator
Nic's car that I started to use - freaked me out because it started to kangeroo hop down the road as it was low on petrol.
My Dr decided to send me for an MRI.
Oh and who can forget my husband got to spend Valentines day with McDreamy.

The diversity of preschools

2009-02-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

I have decided it is high time to send my daughter to preschool. So for the last month we have been visiting several preschools in the area. We have visited 4 so far:-

School A - This one I love and would dearly love to send her to, but it is over our head in terms of payment. A nice mix of different cultural backgrounds.
School B - Old, nice teacher, dress up area including glittery red Dorothy shoes. Not ideal location, as we visited a little boy was out of control!
School C - Facility was great in terms of what they offered but very dirty, huge diversity in kids, not so sure about the teacher.
School D - Clean, diverse, lots of facilities and cost was great.

So I asked Molly-Mae which one of the four she wanted to go to, totally expecting her to say school A or school D and she said "the one with the red sparkly shoes". "Why?" I said."Because those shoes are my favorite and I want to wear them".

I wish life was that easy!

We chose school D - sorry MM.

I am sick to my stomach

2009-02-18T20:27:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing that will make my blood boil, it is animal cruelty, and if there is anything that will send me to the edge it is animal cruelty and injustice.

In December a 61 year old man was convicted of 14 felony counts of dog fighting, in Wilkes County, North Carolina. He got 8-10 months jail time. His 145 dogs of which 60 were puppies, some born after the raid were all destroyed yesterday. DESTROYED!

Remember the case of Michael Vick, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, and his pit bull dog fighting ring that got busted - well these 2 fantastic organizations Best Friends and BADRAP (Bay Area Doglovers Responsible About Pit Bulls) turned the lives of those dogs around. One of the dogs Hector, even became a therapy dog.

But what happened to the Wilkes County dogs. Best Friends, BADRAP, Villa Lobos Rescue Center, amongst other organizations that have had a lot of experience with pit bulls were basically ignored in their plea to have these dogs evaluated. The protests of the human experts of the mass euthanasia of canines seized, including 60 puppies were silenced today.

As I write this I feel sick to the stomach. This was not necessary. This was judging a book by a cover. This is a strange comparison but less than 60 years ago a black person wasn't allowed to sit next to a white person on a bus because of what he looked like. That person may have been the kindest, gentlest person but he was treated terribly because of his color, his breeding so to speak. Here we are today with a black president.

My own dogs were rescues. One from death row, one from a rescue organization that pulls them out of kill shelters. One has the canine good citizen award. One has had a full page feature on her in the local paper talking about discrimination. Have they changed peoples minds about the breed? Yes! A co-worker wouldn't even come within 15 feet of our dogs when he first met them believing all the myths he had heard. Now he wrestles on the floor with them.

I beg you next time you see a pit bull please judge it on its behaviour not because of what breed it is. If you want to read more on this tragic story please check out http://badrap-blog.blogspot.com

Macy my canine good citizen and Molly-Mae

One cheeky Charlie and Hurricane rescued from Death Row

You're listening to what?

2009-02-17T05:05:00.000-08:00

My 4 year old was playing doctor with me the other day and as she placed the stethoscope on my chest she said...
"Mummy can I listen to your fart?"

McDreamy spent Valentines Day with my husband

2009-02-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

Yep, my husband is touring with a big bicycle race the Tour of California and so we knew we weren't going to spend Valentines day together! So you can imagine how pi**ed I was when I called my husband on Valentines day to profess my undying love to him, only to find that he had just had lunch with McDreamy! First of all, I am the one that is in love with the show, I am the one that stays up at night to watch every minute, I am the one that finds him all fuzzy wuzzy and he is the one that gets to spend time with him. Not just a "hi, how are you doing", NO a freakin sit down next to me, pass me the ketchup, lets talk bikes and cars LUNCH! If I had known he was going to be attending the Tour of California I would have made the 7 hour roundtrip drive to Sacramento just to see him never mind the fact I could have been the one passing the ketchup.

Isn't there something wrong with the fact that my husband gets to spend Valentines day with my dream husband - how rude!

A letter to Charlie

2009-02-12T05:59:00.000-08:00

Charlie you know I love you more than life itself, but there are a few things I need to clear up with you. When you use the potty please do not come and sit on my lap straight afterwards, without a diaper on, I am not to happy about the recent poop messages you have been leaving on my jeans. I would also appreciate it when I ask you if you have pooped, if you don't lie, so that when I go to pull your diaper to check I don't get poop rammed up my fingernails.

Daddy's hammer is not your toy. I know you love to play with it but it weighs half as much as you do and making big round marks in our furniture, doors, or floor is really not appreciated.

If you could please attempt to not shout when the phone rings and I am trying to talk that would really help me, and no the man from Merill Lynch does not want to talk to you, even though he would probably get more sense out of you than me.

The dogs are not toys, or horses or bedding.

I know you like belly buttons and you find it comforting when you stick your finger in yours, but if you could not stick your finger in mine that would be great, as it really, really makes me want to pee.

The bathwater is not for drinking as your bare bottom has been sitting in it for the last half an hour.

The table is not for stabbing your fork into - those small round holes are lovely but I don't like them in my table anymore.

Chasing you around the car trying to put you in the car seat is really not my idea of fun. Even though you find it highly amusing it really rather irritates me especially when we are late for an appointment.

Your songs are lovely but if I hear one more time "Twinkle, Twinkle liddl dar" at the top of your voice, when I am trapped in the car, it may just send me over the edge.

I don't know how you do it, but somehow you manage to get snacks out of every other mum at the park, gymnastics class or wherever else we might be. If you could get me some of those tasty chocolates next time that would be fantastic.

Why is it that you have to stand on every toy? Do you not see that toy drum? Does it hurt as you stand on the trains and train tracks? Even though I ask you not to stand on them why do you not hear me?

At aged 2 - do you have to answer each "No" from me with a "why?" Your sister didn't start the "why" until she was 3.

The dog water is not for washing your face in.

B is for...

2009-02-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite bloggy friends Rachel, gave me a little task last week, post 10 things that I love that begin with the letter B. Let me tell you this was pretty hard - I could think of 6 things straight away, but it took a few days to come up with the rest. So here are my 10 things in random order.

Bicycles - they are a big part of our lives.

Blue - my favorite color. I love blue skies, blue oceans, but my favorite color blue is the color of Molly-Mae's eyes.

Bermuda - a little piece of heaven on Earth.

Brothers and Sisters - Couldn't live without them. Family means everything to me.

Bulldogs - Any dog with Bull in its name:- Staffordshire Bull Terriers, Pit Bull Terriers, English Bulldogs, American Bulldogs, Bull Mastiffs - you get the idea. I love these goof balls, that have been given a bad rap mainly because they are in the hands of some very irresponsible dog owners. To own them is to love them.

British Columbia - This is one place I would love to live. You have the wonders of the sea and the beauty of the mountains. If you are into outdoors stuff - this is the place to be.

Bubbles - What is there not to love about bubbles. Those iridescent orbs that bring so much joy to young and old.

Beaches - I don't know anyone who doesn't love the beach. We are very lucky where we live we can go to the beach whenever we want and sometimes we are the only ones on it.
This is one of my favorite beaches.

Birthdays - who doesn't love birthdays. We are hitting some big birthdays this year in our house.

Biscotti - Yummy! There is a certain Italian man called Sal who makes the best ever.

I Wish I could sleep like this

2009-02-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

The other day as my husband checked on my kids my son was practically falling out of bed. He picked him up and went to move him, as he did so he felt something down the back of my son's pyjamas. He took a look and found this:-

How do you sleep like that? I wish I could sleep that deeply.

Physics Lesson Number 2 - Sand Hurts

2009-02-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

I hate physics - in fact I was crap at it in school and apparently I still am. I did learn a valuable physics lesson on the weekend though and I thought I'd share it.

Say you had one of these handy lightweight folding hand trucks, and you're husband wants help because he has spent all day building a sand pit for the junior Fergiesims family, it would probably be best to decline. But then you start feeling guilty as you have been lounging around in the 70 degrees Winter weather watching him.

Then you have 12 of these and they have to be moved from one end of the back garden to the other and you're guilt starts to increase as you watch your husband slave away. You feel at least you could help him move some of the 50lb bags even though you are not supposed to be lifting anything because you have a bad back.

So here it is physics lesson number 2. If the very handy dandy lightweight folding hand truck is leaning back slightly as you place/drop the 50lb bag of play sand onto the foot of the handy dandy truck, you will find the weight of the sand will transfer a force downwards pushing the handle of the truck upwards and forwards most likely smashing you in the side of the head at a rapid rate of knots forcing you to fall downwards, screaming obscenties and making you cry like a baby. Try not to do this in front of the 4 and 2 year old junior members of the household, as this may cause them to cry, watching their mother turn into an eel, squirming around on the floor holding the side of her head. Leaving 3 out of 4 members of the family crying.

So in the future tell husband to do it himself.

Dad

2009-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

Its been 6 years since you were taken from this life
The pain in my heart still feels like a knife
You've never seen your grandkids and it hurts like hell
Is this going to ease? Only time will tell.

I look at Charlie and I see you in his ways
Thank God I don't see those final days
Full of mischief is my little boy
His hammer and tools are his favorite toy.

Molly-Mae is so sweet you would be proud
She looks at photos and says aloud
"Thats grandpoppy, you're daddy huh mum?"
A fleeting moment my mind goes numb.

You never got to see them and it makes me sad
I still go to pick up the phone and say "Hey Dad"
The amount of respect for you is true and clear
to raise us kids alone - without any fear.

My life without you has not been the same
Although this time has eased the pain
My joys as a parent, I'm filled with love
Knowing that you are watching me from above.

6 years have gone by both long and quick
That horrible cancer that made you sick
Still to this day it makes me so sad
I miss you so much I love you dad.

Physics Lesson with Garage doors

2009-02-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

I have previously told you I was crap at physics. But this weekend I learnt 2 valuable physics lessons here is lesson number 1.

If a 2 year old has hold of a moving garage door that is operated by remote control, the momentum of the garage door is transferred lifting the 2 year old off the ground. The cause and reaction effect transfers to a 4 year old girl who screams at the top of her voice - which in turn causes a domino effect allowing mother of said 2 year old to also scream at the top of her voice. Resulting in this:The momentum of said mother is at warp speed. Apparently she can get from one side of the garage to the other in about 3 steps.

As for the rising 2 year old, he was at shoulder height of mother by the time she got there and to top it off was giggling the whole way up. I swear this child is going to give me a heart attack.

Lesson 1 over - lesson 2 later this week.

Do you chase Beavers?

2009-02-01T21:44:00.000-08:00

Today as my daughter was playing with her toy cat she turned to my husband and said:

MM - "You don't like kitty cats do you daddy?"
Nic - "No, I like cats."
MM- "Oh that's right you're lergic."
Nic - "Yep, I'm allergic".
MM - "Do you chase beavers?"

At which point my husband and I burst out laughing and it was the type of laughter where I had tears flowing from my eyes. He couldn't even answer her he was laughing so much.

I love how 4 year olds think!

McDreamy is McLovely

2009-01-29T07:44:00.000-08:00

Blicky Kitty and Bernthis both wanted me to expand on my telephone conversation with Patrick Dempsey from Grays Anatomy from my 25 Random things about me.

First of all a little background information - Patrick (as I like to call him now that we are friends), is a huge cycling fan and he has his own Mazda racing team. Anyway he was in the UK filming Maid of Honor, which also co-incided with the start of the Tour of France which 2 years ago started in London. As the company my husband works for sponsor him he asked if there was any chance he could hang out at the start. So my husband and his colleague "Lella" who also happens to be one of my BFF's, got to lounge around one of the pro-team's trailer.

Of course my husband called me to tell me what he was doing, knowing that I am a HUGE Grays fan. I have watched it since day one and I call Lella the day after to discuss the episode from the night before. Lella is used to hanging out with Patrick now - its old hat for her. So this is how the conversation went.

Hubby - "Guess who I am with".
Me - "Who"
Hubby - "McDreamy" (said in a na na na na na type voice)
Me - "What? See I knew I should have come on this trip. What are you talking about?"
Hubby - "Cars"
Me - "Hellllllooooo!!!! - I think you need to be asking him if Meredith and McDreamy are gonna get back together".
Hubby - "Here's Lella"
Lella - "Heeellllllooooo"
Me - "I hate you"
Lella - "Do you want to talk to him"
Me - "NO - What am I going to say to him - I know everything about him he knows nothing about me"
Lella - "Here he is"
Me - "What NO - wait - NO"

In the background I can hear Lella "Patrick - Nic's wife is on the phone can you say Hi?"

ME - "Shit, shit - what the heck am I going to say - think of something - Oh God - whatever it is don't sound like you're a fan - shit - she could have at least prepared me - shit"

Patrick - "Hello"
Me - "Hi - how are you? I am Heather, Nic's wife" (Oh this is so wierd)
Patrick - "Hi"
Me - "Are you enjoying the start of the Tour"
Patrick - some answer I can't remember because I was to busy thinking of the next question but I think it was Yes.
Me - "So what are you doing in the UK"
Patrick - "I have been here for a couple of months filming for a new movie I am making"
Me - "Are you enjoying it? What do you think of the UK?"
Patrick - "I like it, its nice to be out and about and not have the paparazzi following me"
Me - WTF am I going to say now - quick think of something - Oh GOD!
Me - "That's a long time away from the twins did they come with you?"
Patrick - "The family has been here the last month"
Me - "How was flying with them? What are they 4 months now? I am flying to the UK with my little one when he is 9 months."
Patrick - "We flew British Airways and they have little sleepers it was really good" - he then proceeded to tell me all about his flight and the sleepers and how good the little ones were. The whole time I was thinking I bet you flew first class though.
Patrick - "Yep British Airways is the only way to go"
Me - "Thanks for the tip"
...awkward silence
Me - "Well I better let you go - how long have you got left in the UK?"
Patrick - "I go back to the US tomorrow - back to work on Tuesday"
Me - "Another film?"
Patrick - "No Grays"
Me - "Oh good that's my favorite show I watch it every week" - OH MY - Why the hell can you not keep your mouth shut sometimes - you idiot now he knows the truth - I am so embarrassed.
Patrick - "Oh good" with a little giggle.
Me - "Well enjoy the rest of your day"
Patrick - "You too"
Me - "It was nice talking to you" - even if I had no idea what the hell to say to you and I am an adoring fan who is an idiot
Patrick - "You too"

And that was it - of course I had to give Lella the whole breakdown of the conversation like I was at high school.

My impression of him was better than what I expected - he came across as very normal and pretty genuine. But how embarrassing for him to talk to me on the phone knowing nothing about me it was really nice of him to do that.

100th post and a glimpse of my life

2009-01-28T04:19:00.000-08:00

This is my life, my loves and your first pictures of me!